I’ve suffered from depression all my life. I was really fortunate to get lots of CBT in my late teens, which helps me minimise the impact. Im lucky that I can control my thoughts and find happy moments during even the hardest days.
The last year has been tough, the last month especially so. While I’m just about okay, i just cannot imagine getting pleasure from:
doing jigsaws. I love jigsaws, have piles of them to do. But, really why would I?
lego. I have an expensive set that I got for Xmas. It’s so beautiful, I really wanted it.
looking nice. Yesterday, I had a nice day pottering round charity shops. Got some amazing new clothes. In better times, it would have been so much fun to come home and try them on.
holidays. I didn’t book anything last year. I’m such a pro at finding great trips on a budget. In mid December, I had a moment where a holiday might seem like a good thing. I booked us a weekend away. I just can’t get to that feeling I had when I booked it. I feel like I keep grabbing, feeling around for it but it’s just not there.
taking my clothes off before I got to sleep. To be fair , I never actually enjoyed that but I did do it 
shitty shit shit
it’s going to get better. I know it will. I’m just a bit sick of it.