I'm feeling generally awful. Back story is long but basically, I have taken sertraline for about 3.5 years. I tried to wean off it twice and was very irritable. So the third time I did it, last year, I did it super gradually. I spread out the weaning over several months and was taking tiny amounts in the end.
I was completely off it sometime in Oct/Nov and since then have still felt very irritable. No patience at all.
The other issue is, every time I wean off it, my marriage starts to fall apart. Now I know it seems like that's my fault, because I'm irritable... But, at the same time, I feel there are genuine issues within our relay that I just find easier to tolerate when I'm on sertraline.
I don't know, I'm very confused.
I feel quite depressed since Xmas and felt very flat over Xmas. I've been feeling physically anxious for no reason at all this week. Just a feeling of nervousness that won't ease.
Each morning when I wake I feel a feeling of dread.
I don't want to be medicated for the rest of my life.
My main motivation to come off them was my none existent libido. (One of the issues in our relationship).
My libido has yet to make an appearance... to be honest, I've struggled with it throughout our entire relationship (20 years minus a 5 year separation).
It's so complicated and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.
We were separated about 4 years ago but lived in the same house and slept in the same bed the whole time. Our kids were young and my husband kept saying we just couldn't afford to live separate. In some ways I wish we had done so then as the cost of living now is even worse!
When we separated, I felt that I was gay and basically eventually came out to everyone in the family. They were all aware of the situation...
Then the family suffered a great and sudden loss, and somehow, through comforting my husband, we got back together and decided to try again.
I feel a lot of the issues we had are still there.
I'm not sure what I want to hear.
Is it the lack of sertraline? Am I losing my mind?