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How I am starting to beat the blues

2 replies

Jeremyll33 · 06/02/2008 08:01

Hi there,

I've been a subscriber to this website a while. I am a stay at home Dad living as an expat in southern Germany, looking after a four year old girl and a two year old boy. Last year i was pretty down most of the time. This year it is getting better. I thought I'd like to tell those who get down how I managed to pick myself up.

I was a year ago very lonely. Being a foreigner in Germany is difficult as there simply aren't that many in the same boat as me. Most men are at work. The days get long till wife gets home so it has been a struggle. The housewifely duties are a pain but some are nicer than others. Here's my take on them:

Washing - once I tried to washa sheepskin which used to line the baby's pram. It came out a little bit smaller, well a lot smaller. Delegation of washing task over to wife.

Ironing - joking aren't you?

Cleaning - pet hate - once the house is clean, a lunch with two toddlers soon sees fresh pasta lying on the floor.

Cooking - Thanks to Jamie Oliver and a few old fashioned cookbooks and a Delia nicked off me Mum, I have started to turn myself into a cook. This is the area in which I am feeling very proud. It started a year or more ago when I introduced fish into our weekly diet, partly for the health benefits, and partly because there was a n attractive blonde selling them every Friday. Bavaria is very Catholic and they love their fish downn here.

Shopping - connected to cooking. Main stuff at the supermarket, but the luxuries are all bought direct from farms. Eggs come from a farm in a village a few miles/km from us. Milk can here be bought 5.30pm from the farm directly (but not to be given to small kids). Watching the cows trudge to the milk shed at dusk it quite a pretty sight. Meat is boguht from another farmhouse in another village, run by a nice American lady who has lived here in Germany since 1952. She lends me brilliant cookbooks. We also order an occasional organic vegbox. And our honey comes from a farm at the other end of our town.

So it is the shopping and cookery in my case which have brought up my self esteem. Thanks to Jamie Oliver's new book, I am well into cookery.

Additionally, I am getting out more. Either people come to me or I go to them. We hold an English playgroup here so this is a great way to chat, at least for me. Gets me out of the house, although I do enjoy the conversations with the local shop owners in their small farm businesses in my rudimentary German. I also have a new buddy who is also a stay at home Dad like me in my town - a Brit who has lived in Germany three times longer than me. So it is good to meet with him as we share the same interests in cookery and travel - we were backpackers in a former life.

So I just thought I'd give some small advice to those who get down like I was. Get out to meet people and also spend less time one staop shopping in one supermarket - go to small producers - that is a nice way to spend time getting out too.

So now off to check the babies. (yep one is crying)..........

OP posts:
milou2 · 06/02/2008 09:59

Well done you.

I like your tip re avoiding one stop shopping, that's so true!

There's nothing like speaking your own language too when you need the companionship. That's what I found a long time ago when I lived in France.

Jeremyll33 · 06/02/2008 10:37

I have to thank the lousy German supermarkets for this!

We expats moan all the time about the inferior quality of the supermarkets here. you get either posher ones here like Rewe or Edeka or the cheapo shops like Aldi (yes it's German), Penny or Lidl (German too). The market is so highly developed in Britain. My German wife was amazed at the choice there in UK, but the problem is that it is all processed food. There seems to be less processed food down here in comparison to UK. This makes you less lazy - in order to eat nice food you have to hunt down ingredients. That is time consuming but the quality is so high and the satisfied faces of wife and kids make it worth the trouble.

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