Hello, I am looking for some advice/ideas to help support my son who seems to have given up at school.
He is 13, Year 8. He went to a very tiny junior school (as in 4 children in his class) that was very relaxed and I think that hasn’t helped him prepare for the structure of secondary.
He had just been diagnosed with Visual Processing Disorder and added to SEN register. We are seeing an ADHD specialist in a few weeks following feedback from teachers.
He has no interest in school, wouldn’t do homework unless I really push/check and get a lot of demerits for things such as not doing homework, then not attending detentions for not completing his homework. Teachers say he is very apologetic and polite when pulled up for these issues. I am not sure what can be excused for his learning issues and what is bad behaviour. His father (we are not together) thinks a lot is his attitude and is quite tough on him, I am more forgiving as I can see he isn’t happy and concerned for his mental health.
I have had an email from one teacher this week saying that despite several reminders, he didn’t attend a detention for missing work and took off several merits for defiant behaviour. He is frequently late for lessons and will do things like taking in hats that aren’t uniform, wearing jewellery that gets confiscated - seemingly silly things.
School have organised weekly therapy sessions to help with his low mood and OCD tendencies.
The school have told me he will be getting a SEN named contact but there is a staff change happening.
I am stuck between trying to support his emotional issues and not to be too hard on him as he is clearly struggling but also not wanting him to not be challenged on bad behaviour.
He is average in terms of his test results, but he is giving around 10% effort.
I am trying to read up on these different issues but would love some real life perspectives. Thank you x