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Quiet quitting or saving my mental health and handing notice tomorrow?

15 replies

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 18/01/2023 22:23

Name changing for this but have been around since all this was all fields.

I’m currently working in a temporary management position for which I have loads of experience and even a good number of awards for quality of service, innovation and management skills.

My line manager left months ago but I have been managing well without any supervision/training/support because I know the ropes well.

The extended team is wonderful but the two people I need to be working with, directly, are a bit of a handful:

One of them does not lose opportunity to criticise the work I do that falls under my remit even when I am also doing 90% of what the organisation defines as her role. No complaints about the latter as she has obviously not taken the time to learn how to do it or has any inclination on doing it herself. She tends to get stroppy and I find her a bit of a bully (with some micro racism thrown regularly for good measure)

second one is incredible… unavailable, there are meetings and tasks she should be doing but doesn’t, on the basis that she works flexibly and her “children come first” Doesn’t even take the time to read her emails but treats me like her PA (I am so not!)

I spend most of my time on worrying about whether they would show up when they are required (many times they don’t), the criticism is so bad that instead of using my skills and do the job right, I am keeping my mouth shut to avoid being shot in flames, but what really gets me is that despite multiple reminders and chasing (for months!) they drop their work on my desk just before the deadline, so I end up very stressed trying to get my part completed on time.

I have explained recently how this increases my workload, prevents me from doing my own critical tasks and results in a lot of stress. Instead of support or adhering to internal deadlines, they have put a complaint against me as “I am not coping with my workload” they are now cc’ing the senior staff in the emails they send demanding me to prioritise the work they have handed to me so late. I was just contacted by a senior manager to let me know he is my line manager and to find out why I am “not coping with the role’ (nobody had ever told me he was my manager and he certainly has not had any interaction with me whatsoever in the months me since I joined)

It is bonkers, really. I have just a few months left before my contract expires but we are at the peak of the year. I have enough savings to keep me going until I find another job and a secondary income. The only thing that is stopping me from handing notice tomorrow is that I am the only one who knows how to do critical work that takes place in the next month, the impact that my sudden leaving will have in figures and obviously, the loss of reputation for jumping ship at the worst time/being more difficult to find a job when you have none.

Shall I put up with the nastiness with my head bowed and do as little as possible for the next months or save my mental health and hand notice tomorrow? I have a meeting to discuss the issue with the top person in the organisation tomorrow.

OP posts:
mightymam · 18/01/2023 22:32

Please do not give up before you have a chance to meet with your supervisor and explain exactly what you've done here. Mention the micro aggressions and race issue in particular- the bastards need to take that very seriously.

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/01/2023 22:33

This is terrible! Make a note of absolutely everything and speak to your manager as soon as you can.

mightymam · 18/01/2023 22:33

Be very honest- don't hold back. If you're already thinking of leaving, you have nothing to lose if s/he doesn't take you seriously.

Thesonglastslonger · 18/01/2023 22:35

mightymam · 18/01/2023 22:33

Be very honest- don't hold back. If you're already thinking of leaving, you have nothing to lose if s/he doesn't take you seriously.

This.

If I was the line manager I’d be a lot more interested in keeping yoj than in keeping the person who only does 10% if their job.

If your time here is ending, that’s fine. But let it end on your terms. Be calm and honest with your line manager.

Reluctantadult · 18/01/2023 22:35

Agree with pp's, give the magical line manager a chance to show his worth. Make sure you seem extremely professional. Good luck!

Testng123 · 18/01/2023 22:38

Are you colleagues with or line manager to the 2 difficult workers? Either way, ask to meet with your "new" line manager and go through the challenges you have been having and ask what support he can give.

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 18/01/2023 22:42

Thank you, that is very helpful and reassuring! My out of the blue new line manager is new and has not even taken the time to introduce himself as our line manager in the months since he joined so I am not keeping my hopes high… the suggestions he put through on how to “help me do my job” go against what the organisation allow us to do and are completely out of our unit’s remit.

The person I am talking to tomorrow is the boss of my coworkers and the boss of my original line manager.

OP posts:
makingarunforit · 18/01/2023 23:26

I'd approach it from the stance of "what makes you think I cannot handle the workload?". Tell him what you are up against with Pinky and Perky and the steps you have taken to address the issues.

If he is a good manager then he will support you and take steps to address what is going on.

I've had a similar issue myself. Failing for the first time in my career thanks to my bloody useless manager. I have since managed to ditch her. Things aren't perfect but they are better than they were. I was on the verge of slitting my wrists before.

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 19/01/2023 11:45

… that’s exactly what I am worrying about, to be made to feel so incapable that it affects my mental health and… I take it with me when I leave at the end of the contract.

OP posts:
AngryGoblin · 19/01/2023 11:47

Agree with being honest with your manager. Your 3rd option is going off sick and looking for another job while you're off. It is easier to find a job while in a job. They sound a nightmare. Good luck

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 19/01/2023 20:26

Thank you very much again, I took your advice on board and prepared well for the meeting, which helped me to put in perspective how ridiculous this situation is.

I talked to the top person and I think nothing will be done to protect me, he was nice and reassuring but you could see he is the kind of person that would do whatever to avoid confrontation. So he might not do anything to help me but won’t do anything to hurt me either.

I have explained the situation clearly and he has agreed with everything that I said. He has been reassured that my workload is ok unless these 2 drop their stuff at my desk so late. He has agreed with me that the absences and nasty behaviour was not appropriate but it was because they were very “protective of their processes”.

Ah, and the funny thing is that he didn’t know my new manager never introduced himself to me.

I will go through the same points with the new manager tomorrow, so wish me luck! But thanks again, your words have really helped me 💐

OP posts:
FeckingHungryMozzies · 19/01/2023 20:42

If it's only a few more months left of your contract I'd stay.

Try not to take on other people's stress. Easier said than done i know!

Do your colleagues know when the work needs to be given to you so you have time to do your part? I've recently had a situation where one point of the triangle wasn't doing their role in a timely manner. We are 3 different functions that need to all do our role for things to work.

However I'm the main point of contact in our company so when it goes wrong, everyone thinks it's my fault. When I send my work over, I give a date for when I need it back from them, I follow up in the morning of that date if it's not received.

Then in the afternoon I cc my manager and their department head. I've only had to cc department head once, but I'd happily include them again if need be.

These 2 other colleagues will still be shit when you leave, and then others will know it wasn't you.

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 20/01/2023 06:30

I work like you, lots of soft deadlines and chasing. I have been chasing this, which was due last month, for 3 months! Put things in writing in prep for the meeting really help me realise how stupid the situation is.

OP posts:
mightymam · 20/01/2023 11:28

Good luck OP. Please let us know how it goes :)

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 20/01/2023 16:20

I was feeling positive this morning… not so much after conversation with pop up manager… I feel deflated, I think I need to leave.

I’m not afraid of not having a job as I have my savings but I was in a similar position being bullied at work a few years ago and I am finding what is happening now very very triggering.

I know that what is happening is plain CFery and have all the emails and evidence to prove it but at the same time I don’t think I do have the patience or the strength to put a fight. I just want to walk away, my main worry is whether I would be able to work again without it repeating itself.

OP posts:
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