How did you know you had ADHD?

[name985]

I am at the point of seeking a private ADHD assessment. Before I spend the money I really want to know if I'm wasting my time.

Issues: just life! Everyday life just feels like an impossible struggle. I forget appointments, procrastination causes additional work stress, small tasks like putting the bin out can take hours trying to work up to it, moods erratic and anger/frustrated easily.

These issues have been ongoing since childhood and haven't improved. Constantly feel overwhelmed with simple tasks like paying bills or contacting plumbers/electricians etc. Also tend to have phases or obsessions... they take over all my thoughts/time for a while and then BOOM completely forgotten.

Just curious how others with a diagnosis knew they should seek help?

I could have written this! I'm also interested to know how others realised. All of the ADHD online tests I've carried out have come back with 'severe'

Someone I know went through their GP to arrange it. If I remember correctly there was quite a long list or process for an adult diagnosis.

I have (very) recently been diagnosed. I have expressed many similar ideas and thoughts over the years. It has been a long pathway to get here and I am still processing. There were moments, conversations, memories, things I'd read, stuff at my work about neurodiversity, counselling from anxiety and stress and making those links. Talking to other ADHD women remains one of the most powerful things as it felt like I was giving a name to things I had always wondered about myself, like learning a new language.

I was diagnosed with P Uk through GP/NHS referral. I am now awaiting the next stage of titration etc.

My daughter brought a list of symptoms to me and asked if they applied to her?

She said they were for ADHD.
I read them and could identify with every symptom as well as seeing them in myself and I didn’t have ADHD. I could also identify with every symptom as a child as well.

It was my daughter who started to suspect we all were adhd.
I didn’t really believe until I watched a Jessica McCabe (think that is her name) you tube video about her childhood and then everything fell into place.

My sleep consultant suggested it to me and had me feel out a screening questionnaire, on which I scored quite high. Once I started looking into it then, it was like my whole life story. It explained every struggle I'd have through out my life.

Ooooh I'm going to watch that now

act on impulse
recovering addict (see adhd / addiction)
extremely sensitive to unanticipated noise
poor short term memory
work well to short deadlines
Obsessive nature throughout childhood to adulthood

off the top of my head

i have combined type adhd. I don’t take medication (whilst there are some non stimulant medications I steer away from anything that could be addictive given above)

I instead change bits of my daily structure to help me.

I had a nervous breakdown. Don't recommend waiting til it gets that far.

My diagnosis is ASD but I suspect I also have ADHD, although I'm not sure that for me there would be enough value in finding out - only if I thought I might take medication. I was diagnosed through a charity and then with a referral to an NHS psychiatrist. I have friends who rate the NHS "right to choose" path which works for both ASD and ADHD. There is a huge crossover so if there is a possibility of doing both I would take it. psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose-asd/

Same here. Diagnosed two years ago.

All the things in your list describe me. 🤔

Oh my god this is me.

I do take "addictive" medication but not for this as I've not been tested let alone diagnosed, and I've not struggled to give it up (when having to take other meds that didn't agree with these!) Except the physical effects of withdrawal.

Can I ask, does the medication make you feel... How do I word it .. better? I don't know how to describe it except I often feel like this face 😐 is it worth pursuing?

Sorry completely misread thought you said you did take medication. What things do you do that help?

@name985 whichever way you go forward with regards to seeking assessment, these are some of the things that help me manage.

• I don’t use TikTok/instagram/Facebook reels as it leads to poorer time management for me (again I’m a recovering addict and find these apps are very much a way to fuel a different addiction for me)
• I have a limited wardrobe as otherwise I struggle to decide what to wear
• I limit caffeine / no alcohol
• I don’t have a lot of clutter as otherwise I struggle to find things even more than usual
• I batch cook when I have extended periods of energy
• I focus solely on the next thing in front of me. Some days that’s as simple as brushing my teeth

i don’t write to do lists as I can’t stick to them.

of all the above (aside from no alcohol) no TikTok etc has been the most beneficial for being able to function

@Ineverwannabelikeyou as chance would have it I was writing my coping strategies above to OP. These things work for me. Might not be for everyone but seem to keep me functional. Oh and I do regular exercise (basically do v boring things to help me do the other boring things 😂)

Thank for responses, really helps to know I'm not alone.

It was actually because of my child being highlighted in school as showing ADHD behaviours (long saga since starting school) that made me really consider this might be a possibility for me too.

Impulsivity is less of an issue (unless alcohol involved then it's a real issue). The obsessive fixation on something can be a problem because I'll recklessly spend money on it.

Realised recently that even if I'm "sitting still" reading I'll constantly move. Play with hair, fingers, pick scalp. I just can't stop myself.

But then I wonder if these are all behaviours everyone experiences and I'm convincing myself it's ADHD..

I suspect that I might also have ADHD, combined with menopause symptoms, I'm struggling to achieve anything at the moment.

I'm on a ND student forum and one suggestion which I am going to try is,
Make a small to do lists and add in some fun tasks. Number them and then roll a die, whichever comes up you have to complete.

Going to give it a whirl

@name985 i think there’s a lot of women now questioning whether they have adhd - I think it’s a shame people are afraid to question it for fear of being perceived of “jumping on the bandwagon” (sorry if I’m reading your post wrongly but wondered if that’s how you’re feeling?)

But your day to day experiences are yours and yours alone and whichever way you go forward, I’ll just speak from my experience in that an assessment made me feel a lot less stupid about how I manage my daily life.

there’s lots of other things I do that aren’t great and can make me come across as incredibly rude (interrupting people, not sitting still, unable to focus on what someone is saying - the last one particularly noteworthy when I’m given verbal instructions and I don’t process them).

im fortunate that I’m in a career that works really well for someone with adhd so have always been in employment in something I really enjoy doing.

with regard to obsessing on hobbies. I have one hobby that I’ve managed to stick at because it’s creative and I can constantly change what it is I’m creating next so that means I’m not chopping and changing.

I do wonder how much more our use of phones is highlighting adhd / making adhd symptoms worse as social media apps are probably the worst thing for someone with adhd (I limit my mumsnet time but would be better managed without it but I enjoy random threads and have changed a lot of my other behaviours so the mumsnet can stay for just now 😂)

I am absolutely not dismissing your experiences or potential ADHD, but kindly, just because you have behaviours typical of ADHD doesn't mean you have ADHD. Several key things or an impact of those things has to be present from childhood, and I do think that there is a huge surge in ADHD diagnoses because the inattentive/distraction/focus/organisation behaviours are simply caused by working from home, and all the shit we've had with COVID burnout. I've had several friends ask me if they have ADHD because they get really distracted working from hom and can't pay attention in a Teams meeting, and have an urge to get a new hobby. I don't think they have ADHD - I think that working from home workout distraction takes great discipline from most people and the pandemic has been utterly shite. I feel slightly resentful and 🙄 because they don't see the other side of ADHD - mental breakdowns from years of masking and people pleasing, huge relationship struggles across the board, emotional dysfunction, complete paralysis, health issues because you can't eat properly or brush your teeth or have a shower no matter how important you know it is. It's bloody hard work. All. The. Time. Most people don't get the whole picture and just see these tiktoks which say you have ADHD if you do these 4 things.

Anyway... sorry, that said, you do list a lot of the less 'sexy' things like anger bursts and iasues from childhood, and I would absolutely think about understanding it more and discussing a diagnosis. A diagnosis was useful for me and not useful at the same time - I understand myself a lot more, but struggle to make myself understood even moreso because of this label that some people associate with naughty boys or lazy people. It's allowed me to drop the mask and just be myself, which has meant better mental health in the long term (haven't had a breakdown for years) but a deep sense of hatred of myself because I no longer try so, so hard to be perfect and fit in, and therefore I'm no longer these things (albeit deceptively). I have struggled for nearly 10 years to get effective treatment and I'm still working on it.

It sounds like you are struggling, and I really hope you are able to get a resolution. The NHS is abysmal so private is the answer for sure. Just be aware that a diagnosis won't magically fix things (boooo!). As well as looking at medication, which is essentially the main thing that a diagnosis will give you access to, I would look at lots of little life changes, slowly and carefully, and with kindness to yourself. I've found that it's a careful balance of allowing yourself to be 'a bit shit and weird' in the neurotypical world (oh you can tidy up? I can't. Oh well. But I can make super exciting art and get ALL THE JOY from a friendly dog!) And stopping yourself to slowly melting into a sea of meh (I can't tidy because I have ADHD so I'm going to live in squalor).

So yes, diagnosis can be really helpful and validating. But you can also just take these behaviours and feelings without the diagnosis and try to recognise and work on them for what they are.