Anxiety is ruining my life

[x123321x]

Hi everyone,

I’m just posting here for a bit of advice as my mental health is shocking right now.

I’ve had anxiety all my life and after a breakup a few years ago I also developed depression. I usually try to push through with the anxiety side of things but the last few months it’s just getting worse and worse. For instance, if I ring a family member and they don’t answer the phone I get in a right state panicking they’ve been in an accident or have died, I need to check the doors are locked and appliances are unplugged multiple times and will still panic throughout the day that the house has been broken into/burned down, I have constant headaches, can’t concentrate, palpitations and struggle with sleeping. Most recently I’ve cut my annual leave down at work after 2 days of a 10 day break because I’m that anxious I’ve forgotten to do something. I’m always worried people hate me or think I’m lazy and convince myself that they are talking about me behind my back. I overthink every little interaction/texts/emails when there’s probably no need to.

I’ve been to the GP’s numerous times over the years, I’ve been referred for CBT which I tried for 6 months but didn’t find useful, I’ve been on numerous medications at varying doses (citalopram, fluoxetine, sertraline and most recently mirtazapine) however nothing has helped the anxiety. The mirtazapine in fairness has helped the depression but the anxiety is still unbearable. I got referred for counselling through work which I did find helpful in the sense I liked having someone to air my thoughts to but she kept telling me It was difficult for her because she didn’t know how to help me so I stopped going because I felt like I was making her uncomfortable. At my last check up with the doctor the GP told me I needed to want to help myself and they couldn’t do it for me so I’m now I’m struggling to pluck up the courage to go back there.

I don’t know what else I can try, I’ve tried various apps, breathing techniques, meditation. I was going to gym classes which I found somewhat helpful but I can’t afford the membership anymore due to bills increasing. I really don’t know what to do anymore, I just want to feel normal and I do want to get better and try various things but it’s just feels like nothing gets any better so this is just the way life is going to be forever. If anyone has any techniques or suggestions for dealing with anxiety it would be greatly appreciated

Sometimes it's counterproductive to offer specific advice to someone who feels like they've tried everything without success and who feel like they are drowning. I feel for you, I really do.

Rather than jump in with advice, I'd suggest you go and have a look at Tim Box's Youtube channel. He's worked with anxiety for 10 years and has produced many short, informative videos on everything from insomnia to panic attacks. Just browse though and and pick the ones you feel drawn to. You won't necessarily get an answer but you will get some understanding of how your mind works and why you feel the way you do.

HTH

How's your diet? It's seems trivial but it's a good place to start. Make sure you're taking a good quality probiotic- they're often more effective than anti depressants

How old are you OP? I'm the same and think it is peri menopause related as I had anxiety for many years and managed to get rid of it but it is back with avengence and my periods are really irregular now (I'm 44).

Slow release propanalol 80mg daily helps me massively.

Is there a reason you haven’t tried therapy?

Bless you . This is me too and I am sending you a massive hug. I can’t offer much more as I am in the same boat and am not in a good place myself.

Happy to talk to you via PM.

Hugs 💕

huge hugs OP, I’ve so been there. It’s just brutal and tedious and stressful all at the same time. I agree with previous poster who asked about your diet and recommended probiotics. Also vitamin b and magnesium supplementation can be very helpful. i take Biocare calm and it also really helps me - one of the better targeted supplements I’ve tried (and I feel like I’ve tried most of them). If you could be perimenopausal, consider HRT - again, really helped me, but didn’t resolve it on its own.
And I also found Mark Freeman’s book The Mind Workout really helpful for the checking behaviours - he also has some good videos on YouTube. Also very helpful to realise you’re not alone in the behaviours. That’s comforting in itself.
Best of luck with it.

I also feel like this. Anxiety has got so bad, I don’t remember the last time I wasn’t feeling this way. Hope it gets better for you

Sending you positive thoughts.
Vitamin D supplements help with my anxiety.
I've also recently discovered Reiki which has hugely improved mental health.

This actually sounds like OCD (which is an anxiety driven disorder) rather than anxiety.
Have you had any treatment to specifically target OCD?

Thanks everyone I’ll check out the YouTube and book recommendations

My diet is generally alright but I’d never considered probiotics before so definitely something to try. I am vegetarian so probably prone to some vitamin deficiencies which could be making things worse. I’m also on immunosuppressants for a completely different condition which I did wonder if this could be playing a part in things too

I’m 30 so don’t think it’s related to menopause

Therapy wise, I couldn’t afford to do this privately and after my cbt the doctors told me that’s all they could offer on the NHS. I can get counselling through work again though I suppose.

I did think about ocd a little while ago but when i mentioned it to my GP they seemed to disagree so I didn’t push it

Sorry to hear so many people are feeling the same, it really is awful 💐

I also use propranolol- it works really well for me where nothing else did.

Mindfulness helped me. And of all the medications i tried I found venlafaxine was good.

I feel exactly the same about anxiety op and it's truly awful. Sorry I don't have any advice, just solidarity.
Today I have had to say no to being one of my oldest friends bridesmaids and im devastated. I was so honoured when she asked me but my anxiety means I won't be able to do it as it makes me physically ill. It really is shit.

As Pp said, it does sound like it could be OCD. A friend of mine had almost identical symptoms to what you have listed and was finally diagnosed late last year as having OCD after living with ‘anxiety’ for years and battling with every anti-D going.
She paid for an assessment via psychiatry-UK, (completely understand that this might not be an option for some) but just finally having a diagnosis was incredibly reassuring for her and it might be for you too.

Hope you are well OP.

Your GP isn’t necessarily best placed the make a judgement. Your symptom set does sound exactly like OCD (intrusive thoughts are part of OCD and are different to feeling anxiety, with OCD the anxiety follows on from the intrusive thoughts, and eventually precedes them as you worry about situations in which you will have them).
I wonder if you look on an NHS or psychiatry portal you can get a symptom checklist and go back (preferably to a different gp) with the list?

Thank you! I managed to pluck up the courage to call the GP today and I’ve got an appointment on the 17th - I’ve booked in with a different GP so hoping this helps. I’ve wrote down the medications people have recommended here and I’ll ask if any of them would be suitable for me to try

I’ll definitely look for an ocd symptom checklist. I’m going to try and write everything down beforehand to keep me on track as I tend to get flustered and panicked during appointments!

thank you so much for all the advice and suggestions. It’s so hard to talk about these things to people in real life 💐

Well done @x123321x !

And this lot “I have constant headaches, can’t concentrate, palpitations and struggle with sleeping” can definitely be the side effects of the anxiety that OCD causes, they are not necessarily a separate illness or problem and may go away completely once the OCD is under control.

If you found talking to a counsellor helpful I think it is worth trying again. Perhaps with a different person? I have also stopped therapy for similar reasons (and also financial reasons).

If the gym classes were helping, can you try a cheaper form of exercise? Even just getting out for a good, brisk walk might help a little.