Thicker skin

[ForeverAnonymous]

I know I need to grow a thicker skin and goodness I’m trying!

I hate my job, especially the management. Those I work for vary but I’m always left feeling as if I’m not quite as good as the others in the team. I recently signed myself off sick with a very heavy cold and chest infection but when I returned was made to feel as if I should have worked like some of the others had. I was really poorly and just didn’t feel well enough to work.
I wish I could get another job but have low confidence. Also in the past I was bullied which puts me off applying. I have been bullied by a Manager where I currently am.

My Father recently went into a residential care home and his dementia has really taken hold. This has left me feeling sad.

My daughter who is 20, cannot work as he has ADHD and ASD and doesn’t come out of her room much although does go to Uni twice a week. I feel my relationship would be so much better had she not had this diagnosis. Then I feel guilt thinking this way. I feel terrible guilt thinking I’ve got the short straw as I know others get it worse.

I want to be more resilient and stop feeling this way, but how do I do this?

Sorry to hear about this OP, please look after yourself! I've been there too in terms of work and the only thing that solved the anxiety it was giving me was leaving, but each case is different of course. As a start, I believe you might benefit from learning about mental health and wellbeing, therapy and perhaps personal coaching.

Therapy can help you learn about your feelings and emotions and understand where they're coming from, i.e you could explore how bullying affected you or you could discuss your feelings about your daughter, while coaching could help you look into the future to, for example, gain motivation to change jobs. Don't feel guilty about things that are out of your control but take action in the things you can influence! You can do it! 😊

Try this;

Imagine that tomorrow morning you wake up and you have completely lost the ability to criticise, berate or blame yourself. That voice in your head has been silenced, it's gone for good. Other people can still do, but you can't.

90% of the bad things we hear about ourselves don't come from other people, they come from ourselves and are often the result of core beliefs picked up in childhood.

Have a read of this book which I think could really help you on a practical basis;

www.amazon.co.uk/Responsibility-Rebellion-Unconventional-Approach-Empowerment/dp/154450912X

Sorry to hear of your situation. I too have been bullied in the workplace and knoe how this feels. It really does affect your confidence but trust me when i say it, ot's them not you.

Have you got a HR dept you can speak to? I personally feel you should cut your losses and find another job as if you continue your confidence will plummet.

@linak;@Eyesopenwideawake @MrsC20
Thank you so much for your replies and support. I am now looking at ways I can take action on the things I can change. I appreciate your time to reply and will take something from it all.