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Mental health

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Original poster

Intimate health exam

3 replies

Broken23 · 10/01/2023 18:33

Apologies if this is the wrong place. I've NC for this for obvious reasons. Partly in need of a hand hold. Mentions SA.

I'm currently being investigated to determine the severity of an accidental physical injury.

This afternoon that involved an exam of an intimate area. As someone with experience of SA it was super difficult. I ended up crying. The doctor was super professional and respectful and I totally understand it was in my best interests physically. She was really brilliant both during and after. But I'm still left feeling violated and broken. I'm home now. I have to go back in for an MRI tomorrow morning. I just want to throw up and scrub myself. This is why I avoid the routine lady checks. But this couldn't be avoided as it could affect my spine. I feel so touched out. I'm sorry it's all so jumbled. I'm just...

Sorry. I needed to get this out. I have no one irl that I can talk to.

OP posts:

RagzRebooted · 10/01/2023 18:36

Sorry you've had to go through this. Can you do something that makes you feel better? Whatever that is...
Run. Bath. Meditate. Film and pizza. Your body will need to recover from the adrenaline/stress as much as your mind.

Original poster

Broken23 · 10/01/2023 18:45

Thanks you for replying @RagzRebooted . Im trying to distract myself. I might order some food. I can't cook as I keep shaking. Hopefully I can find something to watch.

There was a creepy guy in the hospital who kept peering in at me from his seat too. Thankfully the chaperone kept me safe. She'd noticed him. But it just adds the the gross feeling.

OP posts:

Starlight189 · 10/01/2023 22:02

Oh I’m so sorry - I had a similar reaction after a smear test (thought I had done enough therapy to handle it, was wrong).

As you say, so important for your health, so well done for looking after yourself in that way. I’m sorry it was so triggering.

It’s recovery time now. Anything that brings distraction and comfort - fluffy blankets, scented candles, a favourite film or music, painting your nails etc. Try to think about your different senses and how you can use them to communicate to your nervous system that you’re safe. Sending lots of care.

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