Off work for 6 months due to anxiety and depression

[Kaylasmum49]

I have struggled with anxiety all my life but in the past 25+ years it has been awful. This last 5 years in particular have been extremely bad and it’s constant. I’ve been signed off my work for 6 months now, I work on a checkout and normally love my job but I find it hard to leave the house now and talking to people takes a huge effort.

Occupational Health have been involved for the last 2 months and they deemed me unfit for work in December. I was called into work after talking to OH and was told by my manager that I could be medically dismissed if I can’t go back soon. I have worked for the company for 31 years and have been a good employee so will be devastated to be dismissed.

I have another meeting with OH on the 11 th of this month and I don’t know what to say to them, my mental health hasn’t improved at all but if I tell them that they will say I’m still unfit.

I have been getting psychotherapy for a year now but I’m not improving. I have been referred to the CMHT to see a psychiatrist to try to find another medication that I can take alongside my sertraline. I suspect I could be waiting for a while though.

I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I have a 36 year old son who has bpd, narcissistic traits and has spells of psychosis. He is also addicted to prescription painkillers and sometimes buys them off the street, he has also been smoking heroin off and on for the last year. He self harms very severely and often says that he’s going to kill himself. When he’s at his worst he verbally attacks me and blocks me on social media and on his phone, I have tried my best to support him but it’s obviously not good enough. I have a 15 year old son who has recently been diagnosed with autism and dyslexia and suffers from anxiety, he is unable to attend school and needs a huge amount of support from me for day to day living.

I left an abusive 20 year relationship last year and I’m still trying to work through that. I feel so unhappy and life is getting harder. Now on top of all of that I could lose my job!

sorry for the length of this post, just needed to get it all out

Sorry to hear you are struggling right now, as it does sound like you have a lot on your plate. You mentioned working on a checkout but I’m wondering if you returned to work would they consider temporarily giving you a different job, something you could slide into slowly on a phased return. You sound like you have a lot to offer an employer if only given the chance.

Could you work in back store? Or filling shelves? Start part time.

I had what I think was a breakdown in October. I was given 2 weeks off and medication but I collapsed so had to stop the meds and find a way to "live with it". I could have stayed off work but I think that would have made it worse. Work allowed me to adjust my duties for a while and now I've decided to go part time by leaving one of my part time jobs and keeping the one I don't have any problems with.

You have so much going on, work might be a distraction especially if out of the public gaze.

So sorry you are struggling OP.
You mention your youngest son has autism. Could it be possible that you too ae autistic? I only mention it as their is often a biological link, women are underdiagnosed, present different autism and anxiety often go hand in hand. If you think its a possibility might be worth mentioning to your GP for a referral for assessment.

You have been through a lot and still have a lot of caring responsibilities. You can't "fix" or solve all their problems for your DC , all you can do is your best and love and support them as best you can.
Are you having any therapy/counselling?

Work might be too much atm but it would be reasonable to ask for a phased return on reduced hours and adjust duties, perhaps picking online orders, shelf filling etc if you think that would be easier? OH and GP can both recommend this.

Have you looked into any benefits you may be entied to? DLA for younger son, perhaps PIP for you and Carers allowance for looking afteppr younger DS ( depending your on hours/ earnings)

Hi thanks for the replies.

unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to do any heavy manual work as I have back problems and lipoedema which causes considerable pain. I only work 3 shifts per week and will have to cut down to 2 because of my younger son. OH did discuss a phased return so I think that would make it easier to go back.

i receive DLA for my son, carers allowance and have just been awarded adult disability payment so I’m not too badly financially impacted but it’s more about not wanting to lose my job.

I have my OH call in a while so hopefully something can be arranged for my return to work