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Feeling very feeble and pathetic - I don't even think I should be posting...

11 replies

AngelEyes74 · 04/02/2008 00:19

I am just looking for some words of wisdom from people who might give some perspective on this.

I am a very shy, introverted person but am extremely angry at myself for being like this and can act "normal" with people who are very close to me like DP and close family but people pick up on my introversion and tend to bully me. DP does take advantage sometimes which really sends me over the edge and I feel so alone and lost that I think I am actually going to lose it and end up totally out of my head. Sometimes I just want to get out of myself - if that makes any sense - like my mind is racing and I can't explain to anyone what it is like cos they just say "count your blessings" and name all the material things I have going for me in my life which I KNOW I have and just makes me feel even more guilty for being down. They dont seem to understand that I feel low and sad even though they think - and I know - I don't really have an "excuse" for feeling like this. DP's family are very down on anyone "feeling sorry" for themselves (unless it is someone they really care about) so I daren't even let on for a second how I can be in front of them. DP can be supportive from time to time but he is very mood swingy and if he is having a hard week, if he senses for a second I am on a downer I just get it in the neck.

See - this just sounds totally pathetic and sad and snivelly but I don't know how else to put it honestly without sounding pathetic.

I know I am lucky to be pregnant but sometimes I feel like who the heck do I think I am bringing a child into this world, especially when we don't have that much money and live in a pretty rough area. Also, what if my mental issues affect our child - what if it's hereditary?? I really love the baby already and can't wait to meet him/her but I am so scared that I won't cope.

I have had some hypnotherapy as I don't want to rely on AD's and the therapists says she thinks I just have social anxiety disorder - not depression. This has helped relax me and stop full on anxiety attacks which had me locked in the toilets at work (I know I am pathetic) but I really have no real friends in the world expect my DP but even he isn't always a good friend. I would just die if he knew I was writing this but I am just trying to be honest and get some advice. I don't even know what a real relationship should be like as everyone else seems to have these perfect partners who fuss over them all the time and put them on a pedestal but my relationship he def wears the trousers - which I don't mind too much cos I am so "reserved" but I don't let him walk all over me. I just get terrified he will leave me and I will be all alone.

I don't even know if I will be able to "post message" but I really want some help and I have filled in this box so many times then just not bothered to post...

Dam it - I will post and just pray you understand.....

OP posts:
malfoy · 04/02/2008 00:22

You are NOT pathetic. I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I don't have any advice though.

malfoy · 04/02/2008 00:23

and please don't stop posting.

AngelEyes74 · 04/02/2008 00:28

Thanks for that anyway. It is difficult to post when everyone you know thinks you are acting pathetic and selfish and feeling sorry for yourself... You just come to expect that everyone is going to react to your whinging in the same way you know?

I know people on here have real problems and I have never had the guts to post this before but I really do need someone to talk to...

OP posts:
discoverlife · 04/02/2008 00:29

We understand, your DP's and his family obviously don't. I can't suggest any solution except less contact with such uncaring people. Do you have anyboy in RL that you can count on to act as a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on.

SnappyLaGore · 04/02/2008 00:30

erm.... i understand every word of your post.
have felt v v similar lots of times.
not sure theres a word anyone can say to help (which is a bugger isnt it?) but at least dont feel alone.

sending you a hug afore i go to bed... getting over tired makes me more like youre feeling right now, and since im on a good patch right now, i dont really wanna go there!

just hold tight and remember, everything passes. in a week maybe youll be feeling stronger...

keep posting.

xx

TotalChaos · 04/02/2008 00:32

sweetheart - don't worry about posting, or thinking you don't have a genuine problem. you will find there are plenty of ladies on here who feel anxious/insecure socially - after all why else would posting on an internet forum appeal to us so much!

In terms of "real relationships" - don't fall for the media etc images and the social facade - it's easy with depression/anxiety to feel you are the only one out there experiencing things and all the other more worthy people have great lives/families etc - but honestly it's just the trap that the depression/feelings of inadequacy are leading you into.

TotalChaos · 04/02/2008 00:35

accept yourself - it's not the end of the world being an introvert - and spin it positively - thoughtful/discreet/reserved - rather than seeing it as a negative.

GrinningSoul · 04/02/2008 00:38

i can absolutely understand what you are feeling. Of course you are right to post - this is the perfect place to 'talk' for you right now.

The tricky thing to realise when you are in the grip of this sort of feeling is that you won't always feel like this. There's lots to look forward to, and having a baby is a great way to get out into the world and make new friends for your child and yourself. Do you have a friendly GP? Be brave and ask for their support.

TotalChaos · 04/02/2008 13:46

bump

crazedupmom · 04/02/2008 22:46

Hi
AngelEyes74

I can identify with you in that I am also very shy and introverted.

I also do not have any friends caused by me always shying away from having to make conversation with anyone.

I have also felt that poeple have taken advantage of me being quiet probably mostly at work.
I find I can assert myself with my own family but not anyone else.
Just to mention that when it comes to talking about your own problems close family can be the worse to talk to, its usually people outside of family even strangers that will lend a more sympathetic ear and be more understanding.
I have found this to be the case on mumsnett there are some great people on here.

pinkyp · 04/02/2008 23:02

Hi i know how you feel, dont think your pathetic! you are not at all. It can be a big big help just talking about it. I'm new to mums net but there are some great people who give advice and well just listen! This can be your escape place, the place you can have a good moan or chat etc, sorry i have no real advice for you but i'm sure plenty of the others do. Keep smiling xxxx

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