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My partner thinks she is a bad mum

1 reply

Dad2k01 · 30/12/2022 13:09

I'm in need of help / advice.
My partner (32) is adamant that she is a bad mum to our 4yo girl (she has a self-confessed lack of self-worth and has opening used the phrase "I'm not good enough" in numerous context over the years stemming back to early teen hood etc.

Our daughter can be a challenge, and is certainly pushing boundaries at the moment, but I have to admit she does seem to react better in situations with/to me compared to my partner. The two of them bicker or snap away at each other - sometimes to the point that I feel in the middle (I know that sounds stupid!)

I have supporting my partner in all ways I can think of - listening, intervening, backing up instructions, trying new techniques... but I'm feeling a bit stuck. Ultimately she is fixed on the fact that our daughter behaves better with me, loves me more, and that she is a bad mum! I genuinely don't know what to do and feel helpless in the truest sense... all I can think of is maybe some kind of counselling type support for my partner, but I'm not too sure how me suggesting that would go down. I don't want to make a bad situation worse!

So... help! I love my partner and my daughter and want them to have a better relationship, but also want my partner to not feel so low so quickly in situations where she's pushed etc. I'm open to any and all suggestions... especially if you've been there / got out the back of something similar!

OP posts:
Nordix · 30/12/2022 14:57

Definitely your partner seeking therapy is a good idea. To explore her self esteem issues and also her own childhood.

I recommend she reads The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry, which has great guidance for forming a solid relationship with your child. And might help her get to the bottom of why she keeps snapping at her child.

Bickering back and forth with a four year old does not sound good, and it does sound like she needs help with her parenting.

Good luck!

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