Depression Support Thread 2023

[ConfusedmumUC]

Hello, I’m so glad you found this post.

I recently made a thread on AIBU, asking for people’s personal experiences of depression. The link is here for anyone wanting to take a look:

What does your depression feel like?

The willingness to share and be so open blew me away, and I believe it’s incredibly valuable for those struggling to see examples of how other people feel during their low days, and know they absolutely aren’t alone.

Sometimes, our experiences during an episode of depression, or a particularly low day with chronic or major depression, can be so very scary and overwhelming. Does everyone else feel so dog tired? Are these intrusive thoughts happening to anyone else? Why do I ache all over? These thoughts can make an already horrible day feel even worse.

I wanted to start a thread for 2023 where people in the midst of a depressive battle can reach out and speak to others, and where people having better days can offer a hand of support. Hopefully, this is that place.

Please remember most people posting here will be feeling incredibly vulnerable, frightened or overwhelmed with sadness, with this in mind please keep responses as supportive as you can.

Thanks for being here 🤍

Just typed a long post and deleted it before posting as was far too outing.

I want my step children to take an interest in their fathers health and also to help me with appointments but their locations and family commitments make it impossible for me to ask. I don’t think they really know the severity of it all despite my telling them.

im exhausted from the running around doing everything and then not getting any sleep (three hours last night, managed two hours on the sofa this afternoon as a top up). I know I’m depressed but I can’t see anything getting any better. I darent talk to some of my friends now as they’ve got problems of their own and I don’t want to cause more misery. Not sure why I’m posting this really, just helps having a bit of a moan I suppose.

ConfusedmumUC, thanks again for starting this post. I find that although I have family and friends, I don't want to burden them with my problems so I just pretend I'm managing fine when it's really such a struggle. It's the stigma of not coping. I hope this will be somewhere for us to all be honest about our struggles somewhere we can't be judged. X

Hi - thanks for starting this thread - I'm really struggling too and wonder how I'm going to make it through another year if it's as challenging mentally as this one has been.

I really welcome a space where we can be heard and share our difficulties and vulnerabilities. x

I'm feeling low and not able to put my finger on why. It's like nothing feels 'enough?'

There's this emptiness and dissatisfaction.

Thanks for starting this thread and the previous one. I returned to work today and managed to do some creative stuff after work which was a miracle considering how tired I've been.

I hope everyone who writes on this thread finds some comfort and hope.

It’s the total lack of hope that crushes me. I’m existing but not living, I know that sounds so cliched but it’s how I feel. I plod on day by day but actually contemplating an entire year ahead fills me with despair.

I am here too just read the other thread nodding along. For me it's complete apathy I just cannot be arsed with anything. I'm only truly at peace being left alone with my thoughts. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere. I have a dh who I have been with for 5 years, lots of ups and downs and he doesn't understand it at all. I feel like I'd be better off divorced then I could be truly left alone but that then feels so bleak I'll just have no life. One Dd at Uni and Ds going next year too so I could have a life of nothing which in a way feels easy but what life would that be? I was put on Citalopram by my GP in September but haven't taken it, feel I should be able to get on with it yet I can't. I feel the pressure of having to ok for my marriage and I hate it.

I feel it is really important that this thread does not die.

People have poured their hearts out.

Let’s look to the future and have solidarity!

I woke up this morning thinking I cannot take another 20 or so years like the last one. I've had intrusive thoughts all day, basically that everyone would be better off if I wasnt in the picture. I know my low mood last year has affected my husband, and I am just spoiling his life. I hate my life, I wish every night not to wake up.

Hey everyone, happy new year.

Reading these comments is hard, I wish I could give all of you a big hug and help you find the answers.

I think that’s what gets to me you know. Not having the answers to magically fix it all. I can start, I can say ok come on let’s sort this mess out and pick a starting point, say finances for example. But then I go down a rabbit hole, “well I can’t fix finances until the youngest is in nursery, and I don’t have any family to help, oh yeah, no support. Maybe if I had a partner? But I can’t date like this I’m too much of a mess.” Etc etc and before I know it I’ve managed to identify 10 more problems and not fixed one.

Marking my place. Feel like I don't want to live or die. Just sleep.

Glad to find this. I have been on fluoxetine on and off since 19 years old, I am now 46. It has helped but still struggle now with chronic pain in the mix from a health condition.

I could have written this, minus the husband because I'm the definition of single

It's shit, it's painful, but you're not alone ❤

I posted this on another thread but it seems equally at home here.

I'm sorry so many of you are feeling so bad, but it's a bit of a relief to know that I'm not the only one. I'm single, don't have any kids and live on my own, I just feel really lonely all the time. I used to have a better social life, but everything stopped during the pandemic and doesn't seem to have got started again properly. I've only got a small number of friends and they've all got other things going on and don't have a lot of time for anything else. Friends I used to see quite regularly I hardly see now as they just don't have time. I worked all through the pandemic in the NHS which was pretty stressful, and I went through a very stressful house move at the same time.

I feel like I've been sinking lower and lower for months and now I just feel the despair and hopelessness every day, thankfully not for the whole day, but every day. My GP has referred me for counselling which I hope will start soon. Even though I feel lonely and know I need to socialise more, it's very hard to do that because although I can keep it together for an hour or two in a social situation after that I start to feel panicky or tearful. I haven't really been able to talk to any of my friends about it because there hasn't been a suitable moment, they don't have time, or they don't seem to want to know.

I keep making myself do things that help a bit like going out for a run or bike ride, although the weather is often too bad at the moment, going to a cafe for coffee and cake. It does make me feel a bit better, but it doesn't get rid of the loneliness, and I wake up every day feeling hopeless. I feel like I'm just hanging on for the counselling to start and hopefully that will help.

Slightly better day, of course its always in the background, but managed to make a reasonable dinner and go to the garden centre for a wander round this morning. Sounds simple, but leaving the house is a step too far most days. Hope everyone else is feeling better today, and if not soon will be. xx

I could have written so many of this posts.
I am 50 years old and never understood when people talked about anxiety and depression until it hit me. And it’s awful! The trigger was a combination of events in my life, both parents being seriously ill (dad dementia and mum heart problems due to stress of looking after him) at the same time we were doing extensive house renovations that went wrong..,
the thing is that everything in my life was (still is) good. My husband and I love each other , and we have three beautiful teenagers that are happy and doing good at school, our financial situation is more that confortable, etc.. but still I can’t get up in the mornings, I have this combination of stress, and sadness at the same time and the urge to cry all day long. The horrible felling of knowing the best part of my life is behind me, and a sense of nostalgia of things that I should have done better and an awfull regret of wasted time during the last couple of years due to the building work and dealing with builders that has broken me.

Has it occurred to you that it’s menopause? My father died when I was 49 and my periods stopped not long afterwards. I was plunged into depression and anxiety almost overnight . Severe insomnia, just lost who I was entirely. I thought it was grief but it was a combination of things , and menopause certainly played a big part.

Hi, thanks, yes, more like perimenopause, when my anxiety started a year ago I got an hormones level check up and it was normal. And my periods are still regular. But if I feel like I do now, I dread to think what is going to be during menopause.
my depression is caused by a combination events in my life at a difficult age and I try to block the bad thoughts but they eventually come back. I have been prescribed sertraline and it was better during the summer but now it’s all back, I tried therapy aswell, and joga, and diet.. but it feels like putting little plasters everywhere.
might I ask you how are you feeling now? How long have it lasted for you?

I have PMd you.