Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Christmas is not good for me

9 replies

Lola2PC · 28/12/2022 13:08

Has anyone ever decided just not to do Christmas? I usually just force myself to get through it and deal with everything but every year I feel like it gets worse and I am really struggling mentally this year. I don't have kids, although we are trying after having a miscarriage last year, and I know when kids are on the scene it's different. But at the moment it's just me and my husband going to various family gatherings and everything about it triggers my anxiety. I can't stand the secret santa gifts, being forced to eat what is provided and staying over at other people's homes (in-laws as they live far away from us) and having to spend every waking minute with them. I definitely need my own time and I just feel like I am launched into this frenzy every Christmas and I don't think I can keep doing it for the rest of my life. My husband goes along with the big family gatherings but isn't hugely bothered about them. We have discussed doing holidays over Christmas and New year but they're just so expensive. I would like to just disappear for the whole thing and act as though it's not happening. Is this unreasonable/unrealistic? Genuinely interested to hear what other people do to manage their mental health over Christmas.

OP posts:
Bestcatmum · 28/12/2022 13:10

I never do it. Family are just used to me now. Its a massive relief.

catsnore · 28/12/2022 13:18

Tell people you are going away and then stay at home 😂

missushbbb · 28/12/2022 13:20

I understand op. I do have family but I've always felt just off at this time of year, for years. My dad passed away one Christmas which doesn't help of course. I think I'm an introvert too so I hate the expectation to meet loads of folk. Love the time off work but it kinda isn't your own time is it, expectation to do certain things. Holiday sounds like a good idea. Would it be cheaper to book way ahead? Hope you find some time to yourself. X

Eyesopenwideawake · 28/12/2022 13:28

My DP and I 'do' Christmas - just not with other people! We have good food, too much chocolate and booze for a couple of days and watch whatever we want. It's bliss 😊

OriginalUsername2 · 28/12/2022 13:31

“We’re just going to have a quiet one this year”

Repeat at all opportunities.

Batinahat · 28/12/2022 13:32

I find Christmas very difficult too and a time that triggers my mental illness. Me and my partner always now just do our own thing and we don't spend it with others. Our families know this is how we prefer it and accept this is what works for us. Some years we have stayed at home and enjoyed time off work, lots of nice food and drinks and quiet time. Other years we go away and take a holiday to enjoy a change of scene. Finding what works best for you and your mental health makes such a difference to coping with Xmas and leads to happier people all round!

Mimilamore · 28/12/2022 13:37

I am so happy when the festivities are behind me.... I just hate having to chat to all and sundry, balance the expectations of others, eat what I wouldn't choose and just generally appease....it always comes as a relief when I can just "be" again.
Find other people's Christmas' exhausting too, even if if it only on social media.
I love going to the theatre/ eating out etc but not with added festive pressure

Lola2PC · 29/12/2022 09:31

Thanks everyone for your comments. It's reassuring to know that it's not just me who struggles. I definitely need to make it work for me in future, and for me and my husband together. I do feel bad that he gets caught in the middle a little but hopefully we can work out a way to both enjoy Christmas, and take part in a way that's appropriate.

OP posts:
Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 29/12/2022 09:37

Always sets off my eating disorder, too much booze and alcohol about. I feel
shocking today. Going to have a walk and “normal” food. Will be happier this time next week.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page