Sectioned mother, need help please.

[ymemanresu]

Hi, my mum aged 67 was put on a psychiatric ward on Boxing Day under Section 2. Had a breakdown. She has gradually become more unstable since my Dad collapsed in September in front of her, was revived, in ICU for 8 weeks then sadly died.

On top of this she's had problems involving the police with both my brothers causing immense amount of stress. The family business has collapsed leaving her no income except a state pension . My dad didn't leave a will, probate not sorted. She's been making plans to put the house up for sale next week and use the equity to buy a small flat. She also bought 2 puppies for company. She's had delusions that my brother was stalking her texts and WhatsApp, and also mine and my husband's phone.

Christmas Day eve she was out in the street ranting and banging on several neighbours' doors about losing her front door keys and not having enough money on her electric key ( she did ) . The neighbours called an ambulance, i went up there.

She wouldn't calm down, then escaped out of the back garden climbing over several neighbours' fences ( she's not in the best physical shape so this has hurt her back and neck )lots of bruising on her arms and knees. The police found her at another neighbours' house about 6 doors up. Brought her back.

She later left the house again around 3am took one dog and went missing for 4 hours. Police found her about 3 miles away in the town centre bus station. Someone from a petrol station also called the police. Ambulance then took her to A&E, she was assessed by a mental health nurse, 2 doctors and a social worker who made the decision to section her. The paramedics also explained how bad the situation had been.

What is worrying me now is that she is extremely angry at me. Ive seen her once and she would hardly look at me and says she's fine. Can anyone tell me what happens from here? I know Section 2 means they can hold her for up to 28 days. I know that myself, the neighbours and professionals are right in being extremely worried but i feel so bad. She says ive had her locked up when it wasn't me. I didn't sign any papers, the medics did. Any advice greatly appreciated

She is safe and in the care of mental health professionals. Just keep reminding yourself that, especially as she was clearly very vulnerable. Right now you may well be the target of her anger, but try to just remember that you have her wellbeing at heart, she needs protection, the staff there will have seen a lot so won't be phased. Try and look after yourself, it sounds scary and hard.

Went to see her today, clearly unwell. She said being in there is making her worse as she has no freedom, the food is awful, missing her dogs, has to share a room and the people worse than her are making her ill as she feels sorry for them. She's the kind of person that needs a lot of alone time. Just wants to get out or she will lose it and they'll keep her in longer. I don't know what to do, try to get her out or not.

Do not try to get her out.

She's clearly very unwell.

Look after the dogs, or get them fostered. This could take months.

Absolutely do not try and get her out.

She is exactly where she needs to be.

Is she going to manage two puppies?

Who is the eldest of you and your siblings? Whomever that is they will be what’s called the Nearest Relative, which is a legal term.

Nearest Relative can request a discharge, but they cannot block a section 2 being actioned.

The best thing you can do is ignore her wrath, as difficult as that is, and let the 28 days pass as calmly as you can and see what the AMHP and clinicians think then. They may decide to discharge her on some sort of care plan or they may move her over to a section 3 to continue inpatient treatment.

If she’s been having delusions that your brother is stalking her then she really isn’t well, she really is in the best place.

I know it’s difficult, my DF was sectioned last year. He was there for a
very long time, just for them to be able to get him stable enough to assess.
He was then finally moved to a dementia home. There were times when he had good days when I’ve thought that ‘it’s all so wrong and he shouldn’t have been held’ or ‘shouldn’t have been put in this home’ but then the next visit he’s talking nonsense and away with the fairies.

Just focus on the fact that right now she is safe, warm, clothed and fed and they are looking after her.

Hello,

A few years ago we had to get my dad sectioned due to a MH episode brought on by internet fraud, he was functioning but was coming out with the most outrageous things about becoming a millionaire etc. etc. He wouldn't go to the doctors / hospital voluntarily and we ended up tricking him into it, all very unpleasant at the time.

He was in there for best part of 2 months during which time I had to attend a meeting where he fully expected to get out but was deemed too unwell, he called me every name under the sun, again very unpleasant.

Eventually, the drugs started to work, the rose tinted spectacles of the fraud became clear and he perked up considerably, I was very supportive of him coming out at this time as I could see the change in him and was very thankful that they let him out when he was ready.

He's been out for 4 years now and is back to his normal self, he has stuck to his meds while out and we all just got on with life and only really mention the period as 'when you were ill'.

What I'm trying to say is that your mum is in the right place and during these early days what she is saying is not really what she means so please don't take it to heart.

Take care x

That is a very difficult situation for you, OP.
Your mother is in the right place. Please do not try to get her out of hospital until she is well again. It could take many months (speaking from experience).

She will be receiving medication and it may take several days before it starts to work. It does not matter if she calls you names and accuses you of anything - just ignore it, and make arrangements for the puppies to be cared for.

I hope things improve as soon as possible but I have a feeling that she'll need a further section when this one has expired.

Sorry you’re going through this and your mum is unwell.

My mum was sectioned more than once so I know how hard it is.

Please try to ignore any abuse she throws at you/other family members, she’s not well and doesn’t know what she’s saying.

I know that’s hard, I was accused of all sorts, but nobody except the doctors can section anyone, it’s their decision for her own safety, not yours.

Let the medical team care for her, don’t try and push for her to be discharged, she needs the treatment and she’s in the best place for now and will be safe there.

My MIL was sectioned earlier this year. Best thing to ever happen. She was properly assessed for the first time, after many years of crap and vile behaviour.
They sorted her medication and finally they looked at her properly.
She was assigned a social worker and we had two meetings with her team. They assessed if she could go back home but decided it wasn't a good choice and she's now in a home, and I have never seen her more stable and happy.
Please let them help her, do not move her and I hope she is doing better

I have been sectioned several times with acute mania or its lesser cousin hypomania. Each time medication brought me down quite quickly and I came off the section quickly, sometimes after only a few days. But then there was a longer period where medication/s is/are adjusted up and down to find the right dose.

It is very boring in a psychiatric ward, mostly. (So boring that one time I was in, I started getting worse...) TV was all quiz shows and soaps when I was in, fair enough it was what most patients wanted but not my cup of tea. Wifi was either patchy or unavailable.

Speaking of cups of tea, in 2017 I was in a ward which provided only decaffeinated tea and coffee!! I discovered eventually I could supply my own caffienated beverages. Also things like my own Kellogs Bran Flakes, as the very basic ones provided by the hospital were like eating cardboard.

You could bring in packets of snacks or biscuits for your mum and for the ward. I guarantee they will be much appreciated.

I felt so guilty that my DD had to deal with this three times as my nearest relative. That was the worst part for me, that she had to be the one dealing, when it's me that's supposed to care for her.

I'll share with you the card she gave me the last time I was admitted, the only time I've been in with psychotic depression. It reads:-

Thinking of you. This card certainly isn't going to make things better, but just know I'm here for you. Sending so much love and cuddles your way.

Nearly all my triggers have now been and gone (eg am now divorced), I'm well and have been since late 2018. I'm an old gimmer and have every hope that my mental health will continue to remain stable.

All the best to you and to your DM.

Thanks for your replies, they're helping. My anxiety is high at the moment worrying about her and the puppies. Im really concerned that she's got worse since being in hospital.

I am looking after the puppies for now but it isnt easy. The walking them, getting up poo is fine, its just that they're so boisterous. Im taking them for walks twice a day and they have a decent sized baack garden to run around in. A family member was going to take them but have let me down.

I contacted cinnamon trust but they said they can't take them.

Ive thought about contacting the breeder but she is what you'd call 'an animal fanatic' in a nice way. She has rescued dogs who have been mistreated. It would break my mum's heart if she didn't get her puppies back.

Could you give one back? Getting two puppies at the same time is not a good idea due to the risk of littermate syndrome 😕 you might find more helpful advice on in the dog house section on Mumsnet.

I'm sorry your mum is still so poorly, I really hope the admission helps her.

how did it work out?