Son heading for another section - devastated

[JimmyGrimble]

My son was sectioned at Christmas 2020 due to extreme psychosis which ended with him punching his dad and us phoning the police. He was away for three months, heavily medicated against his will and is now very anti meds. His MH has been deteriorating to the point where a second section is imminent. He will not comply with home treatment and is becoming more and more violent (not towards people), smashing things up, putting holes in the walls, shouting obscenities at himself, screaming at us. He’s become nocturnal so he’s ranging around our home at night, taking food and leaving it out, breaking glasses and crockery. A couple of times our dogs have alerted us to him standing in our bedroom doorway staring. I know he will hate us for agreeing to a section and I feel so sad for him but we can’t live like this can we? Home treatment team and his MH worker have both told us to ring the police but I’m loath to put him through that again. On the other hand he is unlikely to go compliantly to hospital. It’s so difficult. Anyone with experience of this? What would you do?

My DP was assaulted by his DS (22) earlier this evening, in similar circumstances (mental illness, cannabis, aggression, living as a delusional hermit). He won't even engage with a GP, let a lone a mental health team.

The Dr is probably being cagey about diagnosis because of the drug taking. This can make diagnosis difficult as it is hard to separate what is due to drugs and what is due to a mental health condition.

That’s what happened to us two years ago and is the point at which we phoned the police and they took him out of the family home. Less than 24hrs later he had a section and a bed. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get them into the system.

You are doing the right thing OP. Sounds like a section is the only thing that will help him right now.

I feel relieved when my DB is sectioned as it means he is safe and the rest of us are safe. It is extremely distressing though and I sympathise hugely with you.

As a person living with psychosis (amongst a load of other MH illnesses) and on anti psychotic medication, I personally would be sectioned if it wasn't for the help of the EIP team. They've helped me stay in my own home and not be hospitalised.

Does your son have support from a similar team? They've literally saved my life.

I can imagine how terrifying it must be for you to witness the breakdown. I've had the police cart me off to hospital several times.

Anyway, not really sure what I'm trying to say and should probably have name changed, but keep loving him. He's still him inside. Section him by all means, but ask about EIP so he can return home with proper support iyswim.

I feel for you op. It is hell for all.

Mental health services are broken. All too often families are left to cope with untenable situations. The effect of trying to look after a family member undergoing acute mental illness is terrible for all. Add to that the person self medicating with weed etc and it fast becomes untenable, and yet that is the situation that many of us live in because the options are few and far between.

I think the stress of living like this with DS(21) had left myself and DH broken beyond repair.

I'm not convinced that sectioning always works - my DS was sectioned twice, both times for a week or so where they sedated him and then discharged him even angrier than before. That was during Covid however, so hopefully things are better now and they are actually treated.

I don't want to be dramatic but if he is this sick and delusional I would be seriously concerned that he could do some significant harm to you, your husband or someone else and end up in police custody. As others have said, treat this as any other physical illness or injury which requires medical treatment and do what you can to make it happen. I feel for you. Such a horrible situation for you all

What you described sounded terrifying- that's why I asked. I really think , hard as it must be, you have to act on the basis of your safety and his health and try not to be influenced by how upset he will feel.

You ought to feel safe in your home and I really don't think you are. I'm so sorry you are experiencing all of it but please act.

Oh what a difficult situation for you all. He definitely needs to be in hospital though for all involved

We had the police earlier as he had a knife. They tasered him in our home and he still ran. He’s now been picked up and is on his way to hospital. Thank you to everyone who replied for your insights and good wishes.

Good luck Op, at least you know he is safe now

JimmyGrimble, sorry you are experincing this and that he has had to be admitted again. Difficult as this is for you all, it sounds the only option in order for him to get the treatment he needs
I can empathise, our daughter is similar age and was sectioned in 2020, when in middle of her uni studies. She has never been aggressive and never used drugs, it all came out of the blue. She is under our local early intervention team ,but has had 5 different psychiatrists and her key worker is the only member of her team and part time
Like you son, she does not really accept her illness, is taking medication but not at the recommended dose and has declined therapy. I think she is hoping if she ignores it, it will go away. It is hard to see her suffer and not be able to help. She is an adult and has to consent to treatment, but she is not wanting to do. I can't see this changing unless she deteriorates and is sectioned again
Just wanted to post, so you know you are not alone, I understand the feelings of being helpless ,frustrated and in despair. I hope this admission is what helps turn the corner for your son

Oh how very distressing

i hope that this is the start of some long term improvement

Edinburghmusing, can I ask about accessing private psychiatric treatment for psychosis? What is the best place to start with this please ?

My second nhanf knowledge is of a friend who accessed support at nightingale hospital in London and private psychiatrist attached to thst. Was covered in part by private health care.

expensive. And still very difficult. But much more one to one and dedicated support than was hapenning with the nhs.

my suggestion would be to look for recommendations for the relevant illness and then go from there.

sorry I shouldn’t have said my experience as thst suggests I have a closer knowledge of it than I do. But I do have more general experience of less acute mental health issues and have always had to go private to get proper support

Thank you Edinburghmusing

Please don't be the next Tipping family OP. Their son had serious mental health problems and they ultimately paid the price for thinking they could help him. Your post immediately made me think of that case. So, so sad. Call the Police. Please.

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lancashire-62307944

I’ve only just seen this Op but wanted to chime in as someone who experienced a severe psychotic episode and was sectioned 6 years ago. My husband is the one who made the difficult decision and he’s described vividly how it STILL haunts him at night watching them drag me out of my home that evening. He cried and he doesn’t cry. He had to do it- I was also refusing medication and thinking everyone else was wrong. He did the right thing. Being sectioned wasn’t fun, my memories of it are blurry at best. I remember being held down and medication inserted, I remember being supervised and trying to escape. I was dangerous both to myself and others so it had to be done. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It took me a very long time to recover but eventually I got there and I’m so thankful to the wonderful people who never gave up on me no matter how awful I behaved. Mental health is like any other illness, you must treat it as such. You wouldn’t let a person drown in the ocean just because they asked you to leave them alone. He truly, truly doesn’t understand what he’s doing or how intimidating it is to others.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, I am happy to share my experience. Even if you don’t want to, that’s absolutely fine, but I want you to know he can come out the other side. It took me 3 years but I was able to wean off all medication and I have no other interventions now other than an annual phone call from GP to review where I’m at. I actually really value that once a year reminder- it shows me how far I have come.

Sending you love, you’ve done the right thing.

I hope you can get some rest and peace of mind at home while he is in hospital. You must be exhausted.

heavily medicated against his will and is now very anti meds.

I really don't understand you, OP. Do you think he is better without meds? You yourself say he's close to getting sectioned. Why against meds? Do you think it's better if he can do without meds and end up doing harm to himself or others?

No. Absolutely not. He really really needs meds but has consistently refused to take them due to his prior experiences. Hence the rapid decline and todays events - which have been traumatic for everyone. Getting two assessments and a section is a process and takes time. We are in favour of him getting treatment but he’s 25 and until he meets the criteria fir section he’s allowed to say no.

@grapehyacinthisactuallyblue you can't underestimate the situation where an adult is refusing meds. My DS is 21 and half a foot taller than me - there is no way that I can physically make him take them. And unfortunately when he is mentally unwell it usually it means that he is having a manic episode where he has convinced himself that he is undergoing a period of brilliance etc and that his meds will hold him back, so there is no persuading him either.

Really feel for you OP. I've experienced someone close with psychosis and it's very very scary.

I'm glad they took him in. It's difficult but as you know he isn't safe without meds. The risk is that this is cyclical - it's not always helpful when drs don't give a diagnosis, something people do better when they have something with a name they need to treat. Not everyone though.

Good luck and get some rest x