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Mental health

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Original poster

So unhappy parenting two year old

12 replies

Getinajollymood · 25/12/2022 08:04

I have a two year old, who if I am very honest I dread spending any length of time with.

This isn’t one of those regretting having children threads. I do know he won’t be two forever and I know it will get easier. But for some reason I’m finding it so, so hard to cope.

He doesn’t eat, so that’s a constant source of stress. The tantrums. The snot. The need to constantly be providing some source of entertainment. The early mornings. Constantly constantly ‘on.’

Like a lot of people I was very naive about this before I had children and I hugely underestimated how much work it was.

I also think I didn’t factor my age in - I am 42, pregnant again, knackered and feeling like it my son disappeared for a few weeks I’d quite enjoy it. I don’t want any harm to come to him obviously but I just desperately want to press fast forward through the toddler stage.

OP posts:

RambamThankyouMam · 25/12/2022 08:12

I don't have any useful suggestions but just wanted to say I understand! I'm also (nearly) 42 with a two-year-old and due to have another next month. Sometimes I don't physically know how I will deal with two!

UsernameNotPresent · 25/12/2022 08:14

My sympathies, OP. Being pregnant and caring for a toddler and running the rest of your life is savage. I am 8 weeks pregnant with my second and have a 2 year old DS. I am so tired sometimes I struggle getting one foot in front of the other.
Do you have anyone who can relieve you for an afternoon by taking the toddler out? I know it's a drop in a sea, but at least you could crawl into bed and sleep for few hours without anyone needing your attention.

You just need to survive this period, and if lowering your standards for the time being is the answer, then so be it. It will get better, it really will.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 25/12/2022 08:15

Can you go back to work and use childcare to get some balance back? No way would I have wanted to be at home with toddlers. Wouldn't mind now at school age!

Original poster

Getinajollymood · 25/12/2022 08:27

Thanks. I do work - I have three days a week in work, which is a change but my work is quite full on and stressful so also exhausting in a different way! I couldn’t be a SAHM, though.

I used to treasure the days we had together but I dread them now - just seem to last forever.

I have also been really unwell in the run up to Christmas and feel wiped out and drained. I think DS is not 100%; he usually sleeps well but lately hasn’t been.

OP posts:

Stupidbonfire · 25/12/2022 08:32

Oh I feel your pain. Although so sweet and delightful, parenting ages 1 and 2 year olds is relentless and exhausting and nearly drove me potty. It was the hardest time in my marriage both times as well.
I don’t have any advice to offer, other then maybe just accept that this is how it is for a while, and by the time they are 3 things are significantly easier and by 4 they are an absolute dream.
Take care and and try and treasure the good bits and by next year your 2 year old which you can’t leave for a second will be a lovely squishy 3 year old who loves you more then anything, and who also goes to Pre school ☺️

GetThatHelmetOn · 25/12/2022 08:36

What support do you have? That’s the crucial point. You need help, no wonder you are so tired.

hopeisathingwithfeathersx · 25/12/2022 08:40

Can you afford to put him in an extra day at nursery, so you'd have a day off?

HS1990 · 25/12/2022 08:44

Literally feeling sorry for myself right now because my 2 year old (nearly 3) is pushing me to the edge. I have a 4 month old who is ignored so much because of her. She is sick at the moment and of course that gives her licence to be 10x more difficult than normal. Don't enjoy her a lot these days. Anything fun I try and do is thrown in my face (not literally thank goodness). Hubby tries to help but doesn't really. Really fed up.

Original poster

Getinajollymood · 25/12/2022 08:48

I don’t have a lot, but that’s linked to age as well. My parents are no longer with us and ILs are an hour away and aren’t massively hands on - lovely people but not really involved.

@Stupidbonfire thanks … I am hanging on to three being easier!

OP posts:

Original poster

Getinajollymood · 25/12/2022 08:51

@HS1990 it does feel like that sometimes. The worst thing is DS isn’t hugely difficult but he is two and the eating thing just seems so personal sometimes.

I know they can’t reason at this age but it’s so hard.

OP posts:

LaBellina · 25/12/2022 08:52

Bless you, I have a 3 year old and I absolutely hate it. I love him more then anything but parenting sucks. I will never have another child anymore I think because I’m not prepared to go trough all of this again.

Rumbasedcocktail · 25/12/2022 09:00

I hear you. It gets so much easier, just get through it. You don't have to enjoy it, and pre school really helps. It won't always be this hard. The time will pass and they'll get bigger and things will gradually get less relentless. You're not the only mum who feels like this and you are likely to love hanging out with your kids in a few years. This is a stage to get through and being pregnant is hard work by itself.

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