Can't go on like this, please help!

[severrrr]

Just as the title suggests I am at my wits end with feeling the way I do.

Yesterday I felt completely normal, level headed, content.

Today my mood is rock bottom, emotions completely out of control and having suicidal thoughts (I do not intend to act on these).

I used to have these feelings the day before my period was due but the last few cycles I'm having these feelings around ovulation. I just do not understand why this is happening and why there's such a huge mood change from one day to the next. I'm completely exhausted by it all and I feel sorry for DC and DH as they have no idea how to help and are often receiving the brunt of it. The fact I may be scarring my kids only makes my mood worse.

I don't want to go to the doctors as I'm sure they will just offer medication and I don't want to have medication.

I'm looking to here from any ladies who have been through this and got out the other side. I'm desperate for this to change it's ruining my life!

First of im not medical in any shape or form but I get how you're feeling. It sounds like severe PMS. Im not sure other than medication what would help. I find the pill controls mine a little

Oh OP I feel for you, do you have any close friends you could speak to? I can relate to how you feel and your feelings are completely valid. I personally found when I feel down/have suicidal thoughts going to the gym really does help, I joined in October and when I feel an episode coming on I get straight to there and feel better. I also write down things I have to be grateful for once a week and refer back to the list to remind myself how lucky I am - looking into therapy may be an option for you which can help get to the route cause of the thoughts, sending big hugs x

Hi, I didn't want to read and run, I got very bad a few years ago where I couldn't even bare to be around my daughter's as I'd just snap, and I did try to end my life, at this point I was 24 years old with 2 daughter's on my own and a 40 hour job and just felt the world was against me. It then took me to almost nearly dying to realise what I almost left behind. My children. I can't tell you what overcame me but my god I was glad to be alive! The next day I woke up and was in a complete different head space. I know it doesn't answer your question but I just wanted you to know there is hope, like you I didn't want to take medication and I'm glad I didn't! But there is people to talk to and don't be afraid to talk to someone neither sometimes a stranger is the best as there is no judgement ❤️

how old are you OP? Do you think you could be perimenopausal?
I had to start having antidepressants when that started for me, horrible.

Thank you everyone for your comments they're comforting in some way.

@Nichebitch I'm 29 so I don't think so although the thought had crossed my mind. I've read that PMDD (if that's what this is) can get significantly worse as a woman approaches menopause and I hope to God that's not true for me because I don't mean to sound dramatic but if that does happen I'm sure this will kill me. I can't imagine feeling any worse than I do now.

I’m the same age as you so know (hope as it shouldn’t be) a menopause thing! As a previous poster had said sometimes talking to a stranger can help as there’s no judgement, it’s hard but do remember that these feeling don’t last forever! X