Anxiety is "circumstantial"

[StepIntoXmas]

This is a bit of a brain dump so please bear with and excuse me.

I've had a lot of counselling in the past and know where my anxiety has come from and been exploring events from my past and this work has went well.

My issue is trying to get better. I'm on sertraline and feel this doesn't really help. I could go for a couple of days feeling fine then one thing happens and I can be anxious and panicky for hours.

The strange part is if something terrible happens my mind and body takes the "fight" mode from fight or flight and I can deal with just about anything.

However things like plans being change, feeling like I've hurt someone's feelings etc send me jntk a right state.

Has anyone else felt like this? That circumstances dictate the anxiety in this way?

Have a look at Tim Box's Youtube channel - lots of free, helpful resources on all aspects of anxiety and related issues.

@StepIntoXmas I also cope better with "big" events, where I may have an initial over reaction but then quickly jump into matter of fact, fix it mode. I cope very well (or as well as you can!) With deaths, covid lockdown, organising big events etc.

But like you, small things really get to me - routes being closed on my drive; people coming over when I hadn't expected it; DH going out when I didn't know about it. I don't really know how best to address these either as they obviously aren't things that can be avoided.

@OddSocksAndHollyhocks this is exactly what I'm meaning! I'm glad you understand but sorry you go through it too. Like you say major things happening like when my dad was in hospital etc I coped better than not knowing what to do about going on a night out one time 😬

@Eyesopenwideawake thank you I will definitely take a look.

I'm much the same, OP. Not necessarily great at dealing with serious problems, but much better and less panicky than I am with less important issues. I know objectively they're not that important, but will constantly pick away at the tiniest details in my mind.
I think it boils down to whether I feel I'm to blame in some way, or that I've been misunderstood, even if I know that I'm really not at fault. Or things which just wind me up, everyday frustrations, really wear me down. I'd never treat other people the way I treat myself... never let myself off the hook.
However, when I for instance experienced three close family bereavements in a short period of time, although it brought the most awful fear and grief, I still coped and functioned. With "real" problems, there also comes a time where sheer fatigue will often make me quite calm, in that I just don't have the energy to worry any more and will instead just deal with immediate concerns.

I think it boils down to whether I feel I'm to blame in some way, or that I've been misunderstood, even if I know that I'm really not at fault.

@TreesAtSea this has really struck a chord with me and has made me think. Thank you for your input. I'll need to bring this up at my next appointment and reflect on what it means to me as I always seem to think I'm being punished for something when things go wrong as well.

This is completely me. I lost my Mum as a child and recently lost my Father and I’ve been through many traumatic situations all of which, I handle really well.

However I am constantly anxious and on edge over anything that may mean I’m wrongly accused of something or misunderstood. I worry about being left out and disliked and also worry about my children experiencing the same. These worries become huge and dominate everything that goes through my brain to the point I can’t function?!? It results in me being constantly apologetic for absolutely no reason, on the verge of tears and feeling on edge. I’m assuming it’s some sort of PTSD?!?

Poor you. I deal with this daily as well. I think waiting for the axe to fall is the anxiety inducing aspect. Once it has fallen the "what if" is removed and you change gear into 'coping' mode (even if this is a temporary state and you fall into a heap afterwards). I take propranolol 2x 10mg tablets 'as and when'. It helps. However I'm about yo ring and ask for the 80mg slow release version to help me avoid peaks and troughs. (I have also done a lot of talking therapies including counselling and CBT, both of which I recommend). Xxx