Post natal struggle

[cates94]

First time mum here to a 14 week old high needs baby. I suffered bad birth trauma and ptsd followed by a 24/7 screaming baby who was not well! Turned out he had silent reflux and CMPA. Both sorted now thankfully but I'm left with such a demanding child. He only contact naps during the day. This started due to needing to be help up for half hour after feeding and now it's the only way he will nap. He hates the pram and just will not sit in it, especially if he's tired and I'm out he will scream till he can't breath until he's picked up and placed in the sling or carrier. The only difference is if I'm outside on a long walk and he's tired he will nap but if your shopping or indoors somewhere then no chance. He cannot entertain himself, even in his bouncer I have to sit with him, his play gym I have to sit and talk to him, he moans constantly and is ratty and irritable constantly and today I just feel broken. I sobbed in the shower for 20 minutes, felt myself so impatient with him and just overwhelmed, this keeps happening and I'm concerned it's turning into ppd. any help or advice, I feel miserable. To add....he only settled with me not even his dad so I'm pretty much flying solo with him!

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. Perhaps baby's still uncomfortable in some way?
I don't really have much advice other than to seek out help from healthcare professionals for you both. Health visitors in my experience are good contacts for you, but they can't prescribe. Perhaps ask your GP Surgery for the best doctor to help with postnatal support for you and baby's needs... often GPs in a surgery have different specialisms/interests.
But also can you get some support from DP / family. I know baby will only settle with you, but provided baby isn't in physical pain, you need time out. Your health is just as important as baby's.
All the best x

And as for the pram, do you have a head support so he can be elevated up a little rather than lying down in the bassinet?! I really don't think babies like lying totally flat when they get to your little one's sort of age... he likely hates the pram as lying flat isn't comfortable. I used to put seat on a slight angle (not fully upright). Alternatively maybe pop a small blanket under the bassinet mattress at the top end so he's not laying totally flat?

I love complementary therapies and have visited a holistic chiropractor for several years now. She has said to me in our many discussions on health and wellbeing that all new borns especially ones that have had a difficult birth should be checked over by a chiropractor/osteopath to ensure that their bone alignment is correct ie nothing skull, shoulders etc is out of place or this can cause a lot of pain or discomfort. If your little one is showing potential signs of distress might well be worth looking into this x

Yes he was seen by an osteopath at like 3 weeks old to address those issues. He's 7 months old now and much better! I'm currently being treated by the peri natal mental health team. But baby is all good! Apart from 5.30am starts haha!

So glad things have got better for your little one Hope things improve for you too 🤞 x