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Self harm, and grief, life is crap

9 replies

blackheartsgirl · 13/12/2022 21:53

Over the past year and a half I have

married my husband in hospital.
lost Him to cancer 8 days later after a very short and traumatic illness
started a job in his old place 6 weeks later which because of ill health I’ve had to leave.
my mum was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer a year to the day dh died. She’s been extremely poorly with chemo and radio and now her cancer is inoperable.
my stepdads sister has been given 3 months to live after being diagnosed with the same cancer dh had.
im coping with 2 young adult dc with asd and adhd which is awful at times and my younger 2 children have anxiety, one has ptsd and the other is a school refuser (I’ve been threatened with Court by the LEA but I am engaging very closely with the school but I’m not getting anywhere
i have also developed a heart condition suspected lgl syndrome and am under liver broadgreen for investigation.

I am a mess, I’m so so agitated, I’m self harming, cuts all over my legs. I have ZERO support, it’s true that you lose friends after you lose a partner/dh, the people that were there T the beginning are now nowhere to be seen, even though I have been an emotional crutch to them in recent months.

I can’t stop moving my arms, legs, I’m so anxious, self harm is the only thing that calms me. My meds are crap, I’m in fluoxetine, amlodopine, ramepril, verapamil and the only thing that works a little is the odd sleeping pill. My legs are very swollen and my ankles so puffy and my weight gain is terrible My gp won’t change my meds or lower any doses because of me being under a consultant in Liverpool and I’m desperate. I feel so awful.
I’m not going to a and e, there’s a 24 hour wait to be seen anyway, I’ve rung the Samaritans which helped me earlier
but now it’s nightime, I can’t breath with panic and I’m having bad dreams too.

has anybody ever felt like this and what helped

OP posts:
frostyfours · 13/12/2022 22:33

What an awful lot to go through in a short space of time. You poor thing. Is GP aware of self harm? Would you call Self Injury Support? Glad Samaritans were helpful x

blackheartsgirl · 13/12/2022 22:40

Yes the gp is aware but not how bad it is.

I get the impression that she’s unable to help me herself further but I do have an appointment with the mental health department at hospital next month.

im trying everything I can think of to calm my agitation, depression, anxiety down eg hot baths, long walks, crochet but now nothing is working

OP posts:
OfHardy · 13/12/2022 23:02

I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your dh and all the other worries you have at the moment, op. My heart goes out to you.

Are you religious at all? Praying really helps to calm me when I've been grieving and on a downward spiral. I found turning to God and offloading all my tears and sadness , even talking out loud to Him, really helped me. Just knowing there is a higher power who can help me, who can hear me, and who will never abandon me.
Also, come back to this thread - there is always someone around on mumsnet, all hours of the day x

blackheartsgirl · 13/12/2022 23:42

Hi I wouldn’t know where to start with praying but I do believe there’s something there

my dd20 has made me 2 cups of tea tonight which is a first so she must sense something is wrong. I’m normally good at hiding things from them

OP posts:
OfHardy · 14/12/2022 16:17

How are you today @blackheartsgirl ?

blackheartsgirl · 14/12/2022 19:40

A bit calmer thank you

my hearts racing a lot though

OP posts:
OfHardy · 16/12/2022 22:35

Have you spoken to your gp about the heart palpitations op?

I had similar symptoms when I lost my mum five years ago and I was given propanalol for the anxiety which really really helped.

OfHardy · 16/12/2022 22:36

Hope you've had a good day today x

TapperTina · 20/04/2023 20:31

Hello blackheartsgirl. Just wondering how you are feeling now and wondered if you have ever tried EFT? It can be wonderful for all kinds of issues and anxiety and there are lots of free demo's on YouTube. Warm wishes.

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