They grow up so quickly

[Blueskies3]

Does anyone else feel triggered when people say; enjoy them now, they grow up so quickly. I feel worried that I'm not being the best Mum, that I'm not making the most of this 'precious' time and that it's like sand running through my fingers.

Does anyone have anything to counter this?

Hi, I feel exactly the same. It's an awful feeling and I wish I could get a handle on it. So I have nothing really to add, other than you're not alone. I seem to have a lot more triggers too; 'they look so grown up' aren't you getting tall?' I find it all really difficult quite honestly.

When people say these things, I assume that they’re grieving their own relationships with young children who are now grown up. It makes it easier to not feel triggered, just acknowledge it as the speaker’s grief for their own now far-away family.

Whether you’re glued to your toddler every second, or whether you use full time childcare, that toddler will (hopefully!!) still turn into a stroppy teen and then eventually leave home and love someone else more than their parents, and the grief for that lost toddler lingers, either way.

Thank you. I am glad I am not alone, Sn0opy. I am sorry that you feel like that too.

And you are right, no matter what I do in the present I'll probably look back longingly.

Yup I struggled so much in the moment when they were young but do look back longingly at when they would cuddle you just because and would give anything for a sleepy kiss and a cuddle again.

If it helps you do remember the good moments, but it the thick of it it can seem like never ending toil. It passes.