Body Dysmorphia

[Same1977]

I have had a baby just over a year ago.I have gained weight and now I am a UK size 16.
Going through my phone I have realised how many pictures I have not taken with my family and daughter as I have always waited till I 'looked better' in other words till I'm slimmer.
Yes even when I was size 8 I felt I looked chunky.
Don't have many pictures of me in general.
I am getting married in 2 weeks.I planned to lose weight but I did not.I could punch myself over this.Now there will be pictures of me at my worst in all the parents houses etc ,most likely in picture frames in prominent places.
Surely not everyone carrying extra weight beats themselves up like this? I Have seen so many beautiful women who are plus sized.Why can't I ever think its possible for me to look decent whilst not being 'perfect'.

I can relate to how you feel. I was a size 16 when I got married. I had my dress made. At the consultation the dressmaker squeezed my arm and said I should have a dress with long sleeves . She thought I was flabby and it made me feel shit. We got married on the hottest day of the year, look exhausted in the photos and to add insult the dress was too tight. The mock up six weeks earlier had been too big.

I had a great day but the only photo I have on display is taken with us posing behind our vintage wedding car and I have my bouquet held high to hide even more of me.

Roll on 27 years I am now a size 22. I look back and see a young woman in proportion with her height. I regret not having more photos with my children when they were young for their sakes. I struggle to pose for photos and have to remind myself that people who love me will want to be reminded of what I look like. Even though I hate every photo I’m in.

You can be beautiful at any weight. Please try to enjoy your special day, I’m sure you’ll look beautiful and you’ll feel great once you’re all done up. You’ve had a baby, don’t be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you could be a size 0 and you’d still beat yourself up about your looks. Take pictures with your children and love yourself.