I feel like I'm losing control of everything

[LauraP12345]

I suffer from anxiety which is normally ok but flares up sometimes in normal life or when big things happen. Im generally quite a nervous people pleasing person that doesn't argue and will do anything to keep the peace even at my own detriment. I know this is unhealthy but it's how I've always been and it's hard to change.

Im 7 months pregnant and work part time as a restaurant manager which I've been struggling with massively over recent months because i can never take a break or eat on my shifts with being so understaffed. It's been hell and my manager has said she'll help multiple times by getting more staff for me or having other management on my busy shifts but nothing has actually changed. After another horrendous shift on Saturday I finally confronted her a little more and told her I'll be speaking to our area manager because I can't risk there being any harm to mine and my babies health. I've sent a request to my dr to speak and for a sick note to take a bit of time off.

Then yesterday my partner started a row over having the heating on for an hour because he pays the main bills which ended up turning into him telling me I'm not doing enough to make him happy when all he does is work etc and he wants more sex and always has. I clam up in the end because I don't now what I can say to help or make things right. I'm exhausted from being pro and caring my for our child and being pregnant and he doesn't think any of it is an excuse and we had these conversations before being pregnant anyway. He hasn't really spoken to me since and it's not the first time he's done this. He works from home and has his own business which he set up a couple of years ago - it's a lot of pressure on him, I understand that and he works non stop but is constantly in a foul mood and we spend no time as a family or a couple. Things always seem to be my fault. So yesterday we ended up sitting in a freezing cold house cause he didn't want to have the heating on at all. I feel like he's going to leave me or I'll just have to move out because he keeps saying this kind of thing when he's stressed and I don't know what to say or do to make him happy when he starts this. I feel like it's unfair as I do everything I can to look after us all. We've been together for 10 years and also have a 3 yo.

I feel like screaming and crying but I have my son to look after and take to nursery and our parent are both coming to ds nativity this morning. Im trying to hold it together when inside I'm exploding with it all. I don't know what to do.

Your dh sounds an absolutely nasty piece of work. What kind of man makes someone feel guilty for not having enough sex when 7 months pregnant. You seriously need to call him out on that. Surely if you are seven months pregnant you could start mat leave soon rather than take sick leave ? Could you ask for it to be brought forward a little ? Your dh need to re-evaluate his priorities as far as work/ life balance goes especially when you have a new baby. I think you need to have a proper conversation with him. To be honest the sex issue is so nasty I would be reconsidering whether to continue in the relationship at all .

@Babyroobs Currently it is incredibly unfair of him to go on about sex but he thinks he's justified in bringing it up because he's brought it up over the years before I was pregnant so it's always been an issue to him. He always wants it more than I do and I'm a pretty reserved person and I think he wants me wandering around naked etc which just isn't me. He says he wants what everyone else has and he deserves it because he's hardworking and a good person. Right now it's uncomfortable being 7 months pregnant and after a mc last year it makes me nervous too to have sex. Maybe I should express this more to him I don't know. We've talked about the work life balance thing and I've said he should just go back to an employed job if it's going to continue to be this hard. He doesn't want to and we've kind of got on with it for the last couple of years knowing that it's not easy to set up your own business but thinking eventually it would get easier but while he's done really well with it he's had setbacks recently. We end up doing family things for a little bit then going back to just him working all the time or spending a couple of days away doing his hobbies because that's the only time he gets for himself which is fine but leaves him stressed when back at home trying to catch up with work and we go back to having no time for ourselves.

As far as work goes I'm scared to go off this early on may leave as I'd have to go back so much earlier but you're right if it's my and my babies health it might be the only choice I have.

I'm just so overwhelmed with it all. I wish I could just have a bit of time to myself to let it all out.