Severe OCD

[Tootiredorcare]

I suffer with severe OCD and false memory and can never determine what is the truth and what isn’t but recently found out I am pregnant and am constantly worrying about the paternity of my baby even though i have only been with my partner, there was a night out me and my partner had roughly around the time i conceived and I was quite drunk but remember most of the night, I keep getting the what If I got raped or had sex with someone in the pub toilet even though this is something I would never do but what if this happend and I can’t remember even though I remember most parts of the night phone calls I made to family and friends songs that I was singing remember leaving and what pjs I put on when I got home why is this illness ruining my life

You have said it yourself - this is something you would never do. It's zero percent likely so there is not point in even debating it. It's your OCD trying to bully you into worrying.
What kind of help have you had for OCD?
If you are in England then being pregnant will usually get you prioritised for psychological therapy.

@MajesticWhine thankyou for your reply I’ve had no help I was on antidepressants for a while but they was not agreeing with me either I know for sure this never happend and the pub was even empty and partner was with me it’s the what ifs all the time that’s ruining me, this is not normal to be thinking like this is it

Don't follow your mind into the detail. Remind yourself every time you have these thoughts that it's OCD. Don't get involved in debating the possibilities with yourself because you are giving energy to the OCD and keeping it going.

Do you want to have this baby?

You need help with this OP - please call OCD Action or Anxiety UK and talk through treatment options. Is your GP or CmHT involved? Who diagnosed you was it recent?

It's not normal and it's not fair for you to be feeling like this. It's affecting your life so please get some help before the baby comes. It sounds like you are suffering from intrusive thoughts, talk to your GP and get some help.

@Tootiredorcare look up Diana Wilson and daily mail on Google. There is an article about Diana suffering with the very same thing. She now also runs a charity called maternal OCD. I've spoken to her in the past about my own intrusive thoughts and she was a great help.
Also if you search irrational paternity fears here on mumsnet there are actually quite a few posts about it. It's more common than you think. The OCD targets what you value most. Deep down you know in your gut this is OCD lying. X

I had this exact same thing, I may even have posted about it. It was so bizarre. I understand exactly how you feel though. It does pass and it seems so strange to think about it again now eight years later.

Great, succinct advice for anyone suffering from this type of OCD.