I don’t want to live anymore. My life is an endless series of chest infections and a&e trips.

[Bunnyflop7]

Me and ds are so sickly. We spent the entire summer with the flu- him for 3 weeks then me for 3 weeks I was in hospital twice unable to breathe. Then another one. Now here we are again. I’m trying to get through to 111. Ds feels like shit. Antibiotics, steroids, recovery and then round we go again. It’s to the point now where I’m actually not wanting to meet up with other people in case they have a cold, because catching a cold means this nightmare again for us. Other people just don’t get it.

im exhausted and on my knees. I can’t do this anymore.

@Janieread sounds like you don't have the first clue about anxiety so just shut up.

Credit to you for posting this, it’s not easy.

Fwiw, I find that if I’m making personal comparisons with peoples problems it’s a good indicator I’m not in a good place to offer anything to them iyswim. I do it occasionally and truthfully that’s down to me needing support and (wrongly) treating it like a scarce resource. Envy maybe? I’m not sure but it does make me harder when in reality feelings erupt with the same depth regardless of cause.

I did apologise tbf.

Sorry @Janieread I hadn't seen that you had said sorry. I wasn't picking on you at all just worried that any criticism might make the OP feel worse.

And respect to you for apologising.

Are you actually suicidal OP?
You need to seek help ASAP if you are.

Call Samaritans 116 123
www.samaritans.org

@Sunnysideup999 that’s a really good point. My Dad has severe asthma/chest problems (brought up in a smokers household and poverty). He got the pneumococcal vaccine at 65 and it has massively reduced the numbers of infections he use to get.

@Bunnyflop7 have you been tested for Pseudomonas?

OP I hope you're still here. Firstly, the PTSD. I don't think anybody who hadn't had it or seen it up close can imagine how bad life can be with that. I used to have multiple flashbacks a day. I'd freeze to the spot if I heard a child crying. Imagine as a parent how that works. And that was only one (very) little thing in comparison to the rest of the nightmares and flashbacks. Do people realise that horror films aren't actually make believe for some of us, but something we live unpredictably during the day and/or every time we (try to) sleep? At least too with a respiratory illness you're not told dismissively "it's all in your head". And best of all, it's because of what somebody did to us, or a man accident - ie we did nothing to bring it in ourselves.

OP, have you got any help with the PTSD? There is help available and the symptoms definitely can be reduced, sometimes made almost non-existent.

There is research showing chronic stress impacts the immune system. As post traumatic stress syndrome is life altering stress, getting help with that may assist in the general improvement of your immune system. However, definitely push (even though you likely don't feel up to it) for all and any test you can get. I don't know anything about respiratory illnesses but it seems (amongst the nastiness) there's a lot of good advice here.

My heart goes out to you and DS. You're doing a good job. You've got this far, and although you're rightly exhausted, you can get through this. I hope that the right medicine comes very soon.

• or an accident (not "a man accident")

He’s 12. And yes we both miss work/ school regularly

Bloody hell, it's not a race to the bottom or Illness Top Trumps! Let OP vent if she wants and needs to. Nobody would want to be in her situation, no need at all to kick her while she's down. OP, I hope it all gets resolved and put behind you both for good, very soon.

Obviously with all the stuff we've seen in the news about mould in the house - check that you're not living with too much black mould (though it's hard to see a house in the UK completely mould free owing to our climate). When we moved from a very damp prone house to one which doesn't have so much - my son's asthma improved significantly. Even for me - I did not have a history of asthma or much illness but I was constantly ill with coughs and sinus infections in our previous property. Obviously you can't always change where you live - but decluttering (so air can circulate), using dehumidifiers etc. might help. Just a thought - it might be not be an issue for you.

@daretodenim yeah I’m in therapy (yet again) for it at the moment. I have horrible dreams most nights and struggle with flashbacks and difficult feelings all the time. I just kind of function with it but when a further difficulty hits I just break. That’s where I am today. I try to be optimistic but my tank is empty.

poor ds looks so unwell today. I’m trying to get food down him but he doesn’t feel like eating.

im also worried about his school work suffering because of this. There was one year where he missed a quarter of the school year because of infections. He’s already missed a week of school with this.

I’ve written down suggestions from people on this thread so thank you, hope they help.

since the illness in the summer where I was in hospital twice unable to breathe I’m even more paranoid. I had plans to meet up with friends and neighbours before Xmas but I don’t want to risk exposure to anything else.

It’s a horrible cycle to be caught in, further isolation worsens your MH but socialising heightens your anxiety. Does your DS want to get out and about?

Do you have support in real life? Both on a practical and emotional level.

is your DS under the care of a respiratory consultant? They may be better placed to help get to the bottom of things.

Might be worth checking for allergies/intolerance as well. Some people find eating dairy (either lactose or cows milk protein) can stimulate excess mucus production - leading to more infections.

There was one year where he missed a quarter of the school year because of infections.

this is going to very very seriously impact his education.

Presumably the school have been involved and following up?

I had this in 2014, 5 chest infections and 2 bouts of pneumonia in a year.
I changed my whole life tbh. Moved out of a valley with a huge trunk road running through it to a rural location on top of a hill. I use a nasal douche 2x per day every day, I have pro biotics, glutamine and msm every day. I haven't had any further infections and now seem to shrug off colds etc quickly. I am sorry you are going through this.

We (dc and I) don't tolerate dairy very well even though there are no allergies.
It might be worth excluding it from your diet for a couple of weeks to see if it makes a difference.

Someone once said to me a broken ankle doesn’t become less painful because someone else breaks their leg.

It’s not a competition. Empathy is good.

Ds is already allergic to dairy so it’s not that. Will ask for him to see a consultant. @unclebuck can you tell me about the nasal douche?

Ignore those saying you are dramatic. They probably have no idea how draining constant illness is. Keep going back to GP and ask them to sort you both out. Don't forget you can call the Samaritans any time.

A lot of these things seem to be either caused or aggravated by low vitamin D which is extremely common in this country . I would definitely recommend taking some gel capsules of this ~ NHS says up to 4000iu a day ( take it with food as it’s a fat soluble vitamin). I think you could be pleasantly surprised with the result !

Do you have any mould in your house?