Christmas

[Greetedbyanelf]

I don’t want to do it.
I am barely keeping my head above water in non-festive times and I just cannot face it.
Even the bare minimum is too much.
If I don’t do it the ‘magic’ just doesn’t happen and I’ve two children. Everyone is so used to me doing it.
Buy the gifts. Wrap the gifts. Write the cards. Do the food shop. Decorate the house. Cook the Christmas lunch. 24 days of elf antics. Bake special foods. Remember all the extra things at school for Christmas like costumes, money for parties, raffle tickets, school Christmas fayre.
I don’t want to do ANY of it.
I want to go to bed and not get back up.

I know how that feels.
Can anyone else do any of it at all? Can any of it NOT be done?? (Sod the raffle tickets!! And I’m not doing cards this year.) Online ordering of presents and food?
Are you having any treatment at all OP? You can be well again. You deserve to be.

I hear you. I feel exactly the same. I don't know how to pull myself out of it.

Forget the cards, the wrapping (of Santa stuff) and the baking.

Can you afford ready made stuff from M&S? Get their frozen roasties, frozen veg bags etc.

Keep it all as simple as possible.

So many threads on here coming to the conclusion that where Christmas is concerned, simple is best. I think most children would far prefer a non stressed cheerful Mum who didn't bother with the peripheral jobs ( cards, elf on the shelf, complicated food) to a miserable, overstretched, overwhelmed Mum.
Relax and don't do anything beyond presents for the children and simple Christmas food ( bought mince pies, pud and frozen roasties) . No one else will care or notice.

Opt out! It’s okay to say no. Buy and wrap presents for your children for Christmas Day and don’t do the rest. Have a normal menu, pizza or whatever you fancy on Christmas Day. Tell the kids the elf had to go on holiday. The world won’t end. I’ve done this myself during the years after a traumatic bereavement and it was fine. Kids love it. If you have a partner or family who complains, tell them you’re exhausted and they’re welcome to step up if they’re that bothered.

Only you can give yourself the rest you need.

I’ve got numerous things in the post that I ordered about ten days ago and they haven’t arrived.
I am going to have to go to the shops and buy again. I can ill afford this but I’m dubious that they are going to arrive in time / at all.
I thought if I ordered by 25th November that allowed a month but I should have allowed longer.

I’m hosting Christmas Day so I can’t just do pizza.

If you’re hosting then what can those people coming bring or do? What can be done in advance?
The last few years I have bought prepared veg etc.

I agree about getting everyone to bring a dish. People like to help and feel useful. The rest of the food order online from M&S

Do a simpler version of Christmas Dinner.

Roast the meat the day before. Buy small new potatoes and roast them with the skin on - no prep!
Use frozen veg like carrot & peas and add garlic butter... seasoned parsnips and sprouts often go straight into the microwave.

You can do and if your guests don't like it, they surely will host next year!

And just to a lot less thereafter!!

Give yourself permission not to do certain things - start small. No cards this year. And tick it off the list. Pare back the Christmas dinner. Once you start it's a lot easier. Write a list of presents that need to be bought. Make a decision on them, order them, wrap and give. Don't engage with it emotionally - that's the bit that's exhausting.

I feel the same, lost both of my parents recently and it's like swimming through mud.

Think of it as a simple roast dinner with a couple of seasonal extras ... blink and it's over !

Failing that do a picky lunch

Bread/ crackers / cheeses & hams / crisps .. all that needs to happen is the packets are opened .. voila !

I think the constant advertising on tv also whips everything into a Christmas frenzy .. as long as the kids get a few pressies and some food is on the table who cares xx

I am sorry you are feeling like this. I really sympathise, I feel the same, year after year after year. I feel anxious in July about it.

I used to love Christmas, everything about it, now it’s all a HUGE effort, so much pressure when I am already totally exhausted.

I am sorry you are feeling so low.
Who are you hosting? Can you tell them how you are feeling? Doesn't have to be a massive outpouring, just enough to let them know you are struggling and need some support.
Is it too late to not host?
I know when I felt like hiding I could tell my sister and took over what she could, including dealing with the rest of the family. I did what I needed for the kids and let myself off a lot. You need to give yourself permission.
I sent cards only to overseas family members last year. No one else has ditched me because they didn't get a card (I doubt most even noticed).

I'll do the same this year - only just bought some as the lovely ones I ordered haven't arrived. No way will my card get to Australia!