Supporting a partner with MH issues

[Penguin92]

Not really sure what I’m looking for here, maybe just to know I’m not alone / doing something wrong.

DH has severe anxiety and depression in the past. I too have a level of anxiety but his can be completely debilitating. My anxiety makes me feel horrible and shaky inside but it’s controlled, I’ve never felt that it’s debilitating in any way. DH sometimes becomes completely inconsolable having a panic attack for a relatively short period 20 mins to an hour max. I’ll just be there with him and try to help do breathing exercises and hug him etc. but I have literally no idea how he feels. His anxiety is so very different I’ve never seen anything like it before - I just don’t know what I should do to help.

Should I be doing more? He’s been to therapy in the past and it made him feel worse having to go there and talk to a stranger so he basically refuses that. I’ve found an online one and he says he’d try it but keeps putting it off.

Am I naive thinking I can actually help him?

Hi OP. My DH also has mental health issues. Extreme anxiety and insomnia. I also suffer with a milder form of anxiety. I understand how tough it can be living with someone who struggles so much on a daily basis. It affects every aspect of life. It sounds like you are doing a really good job to be there for your DH and show support, but ultimately he does need to accept that he needs help for himself. Has he contacted doctor? Is he managing his mental health with medication? Talking therapies aren't for everyone but there are many many different types if he wants to go down that route again - again doctor can make referrals etc x

He needs the therapy. If there is a specific trigger for the anxiety it needs to be addressed, and that will be a case of making it worse before it can get better.