Advice? Burnt out & starting new job soon

[DuchessOfLegoland]

I’ve had an eventful 2 years. Started a very demanding senior management job 2 years ago at the exact same time as I lost my oldest and best friend to an aggressive form of cancer (they died on the day I started the job).

So, I’ve been grieving while also having to put on my game face and be an impressive, all singing and dancing new manager, which I guess I have achieved. I’ve made a real impact at work and been headhunted for a new role elsewhere - accepted the offer and start in January.

I should feel happy, but I’m just so tired. I feel like all the adrenaline I have been operating on for the past 2 years has drained away. I’m struggling to get through my notice period at work (every day is draining and I’m short tempered and ratty). I’m feeling disconnected from my friends and loved ones and like I’m just going through the motions.

Ive been depressed before and it feels different. I don’t feel sad or hopeless, just constantly at the end of my tether and like I just want to stop the world and get off for a bit. I think it’s a mixture of delayed grief and being burnt out from my extremely demanding current role. Plus probably perimenopausal. But I don’t want to feel like this!! I’m

How do I get my mojo back? How do I feel energetic and excited about life again? My GP has offered me antidepressants, but I’m not sure that’s the answer as I don’t actually feel depressed.

Has anyone felt like this? What helped? You

oh wow this sounds like a tough spot to be in. The loss of your friend must have been so difficult to manage alongside trying to perform in a new role. Do you this this is a delayed grieving. Grieving how you weren’t able to at the time because you were so busy?

Is it possible to have a gap between the jobs, if only for a few weeks? Give yourself some breathing space?

might be worth seeking out advice about menopause related symptoms too. I know where we are there are several local woman's groups who support around menopause. Worth considering If it could be related.

are you doing much outside of work. I wonder if you need to give a big push to get some plans in place to see people and shift focus from work to personal life a little.

Can you take sick/unpaid leave for the remainder of your notice period? When is your January start date?

Really appreciate your replies.

I say ‘delayed grieving’ because although I did grieve for my friend I also had to get on with it. I took a day off for the funeral, but otherwise didn’t have any time off or even tell anyone other than my manager at work, so I was really holding a lot in. Now I’m winding down from this job, I think the reality of how awful it all was for my friend at the end has really hit me.

I do try to do stuff outside of work. I’ve made a real effort not to isolate myself (I know that leads to depression for me). So I’m trying to be upbeat!

I get 10 days off over Christmas between ending and starting jobs, so shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself, really! I know that’s more than many get. I’d love to go away and lie on a beach but I’ve got DH and two teens and we have family plans etc.

I don’t know if I’m just being self pitying?!

But I just feel so grumpy and knackered and a bit flat.

I’d really be leaving my current organisation up shit’s creek if I went off sick now. I’d like to leave on good terms.

They'll forget about you within 3 days of leaving. Get yourself signed off sick and have a good few weeks break.

Would be worth having bloods done just to check there's no underlying issues. From your posts you don't seem to cut yourself much slack - would that be fair to say?

I get that work is high pressure so that becomes the norm, but the human body - and mind - are not designed to work at full throttle at all times. If you ignore it, your 'system' will shut down at the most inconvenient time and there will be nothing you can do about it. Take some time out. Go to a health farm for a week. Your DH and teens will cope.

This^
mans also make sure you have time. Tell your family you need it and so whatever you need to do to get yourself a proper break. Keep things simple at home, book a cleaner for a few week, go away to hotel for a few days alone if needed.

I always think the time between 2 jobs is so predacious. You’ve left behind the work load of the first and the second hasn’t started yet. Make the most of some time with reduced demands.

maybe even ongoing you can think about what make life more manageable?? Reduced hours, cleaner helping at home, taking a half day every other weekend to go on and do something you enjoy etc.