Intrusive thoughts/doubts and severe anxiety/OCD

[Ilovedogs1]

Hey all.
I have posted about this before a while ago but having a fair up of symptoms again.
Long time sufferer of OCD . Presents mainly in intrusive thoughts/doubts of what if I've caused harm/done something wrong and dont remember.
Struggling atm. Thoughts are coming at me one after the other. What if this what if that. I feel highly anxious and frightened. Deep down I get that its anxiety but why do I have to doubt the kind of person I am. I would never want to hurt anybody. At the moment its relentless, it's like my brain is firing all these scenarios at me non stop. I'm absolutely exhausted and then feel guilty because I'm not being the greatest wife or mum atm.
I have a psychiatrist appointment next week to review my meds but does anyone else suffer this and what helps you?

Thanks. X

Could peri-menopause be a factor?

I have Schizoaffective disorder rather than OCD but among other symptoms (such as paranoia & hallucinations) have suffered intrusive thoughts actually telling me to harm others, it was horrible and awful as I'm a very caring type of person. I had insight that the thoughts were probably my subconscious rather than anything else. It was like my worst fear coming true having those thoughts.

So I would firstly say to myself not to be afraid of my thoughts which helped actually.
I also tried to ignore the thoughts but that was extremely difficult.

The main thing that helped get rid of the thoughts was increasing the dose of my anti psychotic medication.

I also found confiding the exact nature of the thoughts to my psychiatrist very helpful and he was satisfied there was no risk of me carrying out the thoughts.

I should have told him sooner but I was convinced I'd get sectioned!! Actually it's very difficult to get sectioned.

So if I was you I'd contact your mental health team tomorrow, say you are struggling with these thoughts & do they have any strategies that you can use while waiting to see the psychiatrist. Consider medication of some kind, if the psychiatrist suggests it.
I think these thoughts are a huge symptom of anxiety/ stress, you may find that dealing with any other stress could help too.

Yes, this was me all over a couple of years ago. It’s very frightening. Sertraline really helped as did talking to a psychologist - it was like once the awful thoughts had been let out they lost a bit of their power. It’s very scary but it isn’t reflective of you as a person 💐

@Aquamarine1029 thank you for replying. I am 44 so peri menopause did cross my mind. I did see the GP who did a blood test but he said they were fine.
However I did think that hormones must fluctuate so wasn't sure how accurate this would be. I've suffered episodically with this for years but lately the episodes are more frequent.

@SommerTen also thank you for your reply. I'm already on sertraline and have been for about 7 years and a low dose of quetiapine. I saw the GP last week because the CMHT haven't seen me or reviewed my meds since feb. GP was great and said they weren't doing enough and chased them hence the psychiatrist appointment. The duty team are crap. When I ring up when I'm struggling/hysterical they tell me to watch something funny on YouTube 😩.
Wish it was that easy.

Have you ever had any success with grounding exercises or breathing patterns? If not, worth a shot while you're in the clutches of the thoughts.

The other thing that helped me was a mantra. My counsellor told me that the world is full of joy-all sorts of joy, from the tiny to the massive and whilst I'm letting these thoughts dominate my brain space, I'm missing out on the joy that the world has to offer. So, think about something tangible that brings joy and focus on it. And she told me to try and remember to chose joy whenever the thoughts come at me. So my mantra is 'there is joy, choose joy June'

It wasn't/isn't 100% effective all of the time, but it does help me.

Hugs, because it's so consuming. I get it.

@Cuppasoupmonster thank you for your response. Do you still suffer from intrusive thoughtS or have they gone completely? Did you worry you were responsible for something but had no memory? How are your anxiety levels now?

Sending solidarity, as someone who has suffered on and off with similar. Does it help you to know that other people have the same thoughts? For me, that REALLY helps, because it enables me to see that such thoughts are just a quirk of the human brain and not actually real or true. I've mostly shaken it now, but sometimes when I have a bit of a relapse I can find myself having to turn round in my car and retrace a route I've just driven, to check that it really was just a little pothole in the road I drove over, and not a person. Years ago I was given a guide about OCD by a counsellor I was seeing, and just reading that and reading case studies of people's (different, but very similar) intrusive thoughts was incredibly helpful for me to see that the thoughts were the result of a mental condition and I did not have to give them the attention that they tried to demand from me.

This is a helpful video on intrusive thoughts;