Should I quit this therapy?

[Quitornot]

I'm sorry this is long but I want some objective opinions from either professionals or other patients if that's ok. I've had to name change as I can't have this linked to other posts my family might recognise.

I want to ditch the therapy I'm having but I guess I want to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons. I don't want to waste an opportunity but I'm pissed off with it.

I've been waiting a year for treatment after referral.

It's NHS telephone based CBT, max 10 sessions.

I have C-PTSD, ADHD and there's a lot going on currently.

I'm in my late 30s and have had lots of therapy before including counselling, CBT and trauma treatments.

My reasons are:

CBT alone is not going to resolve this. I have been told what I need and been referred for long term psychoanalytical type work. I have chosen a therapist but I can't pay for it at the moment.

I don't doubt that CBT can be helpful and it has been but what we're doing is incredibly superficial and nothing I can't do in my own time watching YouTube or revisiting previous materials from sessions.

The therapist is really irritating me.
2 out of 3 sessions she's been 10/15 minutes late to call.
The first session she told me off for not completing a form I had not received and didn't seem to believe me when I said this.

She then told me off for using my laptop during the session when I'd turned it on at the end to look at my calendar when we were booking the next appointment.

Yesterday, I made a comment that I don't think I will ever be totally comfortable with a particular thing I have a phobia of (fairly minor but long standing).
This was taken as me being negative about treatment. I wasn't and I do truly believe most phobias can be treated effectively and fairly simply.

We're supposed to have an hour, the most I've had is 40 minutes as they like to write up during that hour too. The shortest was about 25 minutes.

The sessions are basically how was your week, did you do your homework, here's your next homework.

They don't remember anything about me which is irritating. They started explaining a treatment yesterday that I'd told them I've already had.

They also forgot what I do for a living which is extremely relevant to the current issues.

I don't expect them to remember every little thing I've told them but I would like them to know the fundamentals. It feels like I'm re-explaining stuff each time.

I can hear background noise all the time, last week and this, kids which I assume are hers. It's loud enough that our sessions don't feel private.

My doubts are that if I tell the therapist this, they will see it as me either being negative and not believing I can get better.

That I'm dissing CBT and that maybe I'm arrogant in feeling I know better than them.

Neither of those things are true.
I do want to get better but I'm realistic. You are not going to resolve 30 years of trauma in 8 phone sessions.

I know myself, well. This is one of the benefits of years of treatment. So I don't think it's arrogant to express I don't think this is working for me but I worry that I'll be labelled as difficult or resistant.

Thank you if you reached the end of this stream of consciousness.

Any thoughts?

TLDR: Am I The Arsehole? 😄

I understand the limitations of CBT. I've done it many times but it's having a finite effect.

I know this and so does she but she won't say that and be realistic with me.
I'm not swallowing that some homework about changing my thoughts and behaviours is going to magically change my life. It's bullshit and actually insulting that the only way I can engage is by accepting this is true.

I have had lots of therapy and am a counsellor and this is so very wrong. I do lots of work by telephone and its not true to say that you can't build a relationship that way or online but as a therapist you need to work really hard to make sure you are picking up on what your client is saying without being physically in the same space.

Turning up late is not acceptable, nor is not giving you your full session. A therapeutic hour is usually 50 minutes but she shouldn't be late nor cutting you short. She also should be in a private space and reassure you of that privacy.

I am trained integratively so am trained in cbt and it is very helpful for so many clients but it should not be a tick box therapy of just giving homework and leaving you feeling unheard.

I firmly believe that the relationship between client and therapist is the key to successful therapy and if that isn't there you can't possible open up and trust and it sounds as though, for very good reason, that isn't there for you. But don't give up on therapy, find the right person for you, anyone decent should offer you an initial consultation to see if you want to work with them. I always say to my clients in first session that I may not be the person for them and that's fine because I want them to have the best outcome and experience of counselling possible and if that's with someone else that's ok!

Just read the update.
I am a therapist in the NHS and I supervise a lot of other therapists. The quality and standard of therapists is quite variable. And yes we do struggle to recruit as PP said. I was going to suggest you phone the service and ask to speak to the manager on duty and see if you could switch to a different therapist. Ideally switch to face to face or at least video calls if that is available. Much better than telephone.
Don't quit because of you get to the end of the course of therapy and you are not doing better you may be offered another referral for a more suitable form of therapy.
Do long term private though if you can.

This.

Glad I came across this thread - have been feeling upset I was turned down from cbt but your experience here sounds awful. I have nothing of any use to add but really hope you manage access something more helpful. Be insterested to hear how you get on. Good luck!