I hate weekends

[Sam84x]

I hate weekends, pretty much having my children in general, I always end up screaming at them for something, then my husband will walk in and I feel like absolute shit about it, literally it makes me feel suicidal, like they should have a better mum than me. But I know it would destroy their lives if I actually wasn’t here anymore. And if I left I really wouldn’t feel I had a purpose in life. Whenever my husband is home he seems to be doing jobs outside, and I’m stuck with the children (2&4) either trying to get them to get dressed, brush their teeth, stop fighting, or making them food, tidying up after them, generally doing jobs round the house. I like going on family days out but we can’t always do that, I know that jobs need to be done. I just hate being left alone with the children. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have had them because I can’t cope most of the time. I wonder if my husband will leave someday, I know he’s sick of the shouting 😔

Do you work at all?
Work saved my life when DS was young, I needed the adult company or I would have gone nuts.

Yes, I work during the week between drop off & pick up while they’re at school & nursery. I walk dogs so I don’t actually speak to people that much. I’m starting to think I don’t even have time to be working at all, the house is never clean & tidy enough, there’s just too much to do, I never have any down time apart from after the kids have gone to bed. I really feel stressed and unhappy.

Surprised there isn't more action here, maybe those who can resonate had their hands full earlier on!

I work part time too, and my (only) child goes to preschool 3.5 days a week. I struggle with even the post-preschool time.

Feeling particularly fed up at the moment as she just doesn't listen, is rude to us, I find myself shouting very regularly because I just lose my temper at the cumulation of all of these things. And I 10000000% blame myself for all her bad behaviour. I just can't seem to change myself to change her. I try and try and try, but then snap as it doesn't work.

No real answer for you, but solidarity. I do find things like aha parenting, peaceful parenting, how to talk so kids will listen etc all very helpful and my ideal way to be, I just struggle to follow it 100% of the time.

You're not alone

Bumping for you OP. I have similar thoughts. I hate being shouty mummy, I can't seem to stop myself. Every weekend it is the same. My children are similar ages. I keep thinking it won't be long til the 2 year old is 4, and will be (slightly) more reasonable. It is very hard work.

DH is always doing things, jobs, on his own. I always have the kids too. I work FT, I want enjoyable weekends. We've had so many rows about it. I now try and plan things with other mums as I find I'm nicer and better when I am with others.

It will get easier as they get older

@yellowgecko over here I find 4 much worse than 2, so much more backchat and not cooperating (and picky eating). Good plan to make play dates/go to groups when alone with DC though, I feel the same as you with that.

Could you sit down with your DP and share the weekend tasks?

Outside tasks at this time of year is indoor parenting shirking. 😖

You do all school and nursery runs and work. I'd be shouty too.

You are exhausted and that is why you are on a short fuse.

Tell your DP you are having a day off next week and let him parent all day one day as it sounds like he doesn't.

I have just come across this and wondered if I’d written it myself and forgotten!

how has this weekend gone so far?

I am at my wits end. But actually more with my DH than the kids, he only very grudgingly participates in parenting when we are at home, and his attitude almost makes it not worth it. I still do my own thing on principle. He doesn’t structure anything for them though so they end up bored, playing up and then I end up suffering for it in the end. As always. I’m the one that takes them out in all weathers then deals with all the wet and muddy gear. He watches TV with them for a few hours, does the basics of feeding them etc and thinks he deserves a medal.

anyway sorry to go off on my own moan. I 100% hear you. You need to go out for the day once a month on your own and leave him to it. Non negotiable. Can you get an occasional baby sitter too, to give you more of a break?

Sending hugs. I’d be happy to keep in touch on this for moral support for us OP /anyone else in the same boat.

Thanks everyone, I am looking to cut down a little with work so I have a bit more time in the day, I’ve also downloaded “Scream-free parenting” on Audible (as I don’t find time to read physical books 😬) I should know by now that I need to take the kids out no matter what as staying at home with them for an entire day is a scream-fest waiting to happen.