So, I was beaten by my parent throughout my childhood. When I was younger, it was smacking a lot, on the bum, back and legs and then in my teenage years it was being punched in the face. I was always walking on eggshells in my own home. I had two brothers who were also abused, but they went to boarding school aged 11, so they avoided most of it. I went to a normal day school.
There was a lot of mental abuse too. I was called ‘lard arse’ (I wasn’t big at all, but I developed an eating disorder in my uni years). There was a culture of putting me down constantly. I was an avid reader but both my parents told me reading was a waste of time.
Now I’m older I see them for what they are: narcissistic, abusive, homophobic and racist. I’ve got my own children and they don’t spend much time with them (certainly never alone).
Every now and then, they push my buttons and it makes me really unwell. I’ve got an autoimmune disease and the pressure of it makes me feel unwell for a few days.
How do I move forward and live a healthy and happy life?