When you think you need help, what do you say to your GP?

[madmumNika]

Hi,

I find it very hard to write this but I think I may need some professional help for depression. In the last couple of months I have found I am having increasing mood swings and find it hard to get up each day as I feel so down. I keep trying to rationalise everything but it doesn't help. I just feel so sad. Life is overwhelming at times and I don't feel I can keep everyone happy and meet what is expected of me.

Should I go to my GP and how do I broach how I'm feeling? I don't really want to go down the medications route (still breastfeeding) but admit I have issues that I need to probably go through with someone professionally.

Any advice very welcome xxxx

You tell him exactly what you have written down here and then him do his job! All you need to do is make an appointment and tell him/her how you feel, include how you feel about medication but don't worry about anything else, that's why you make an appointment. Hope you feel beter soon

Tell him exactly what you said here.

Don't just accept ADs though, as they may try to convince you. Counselling will be more than effective probably - you don't have to have a GP referral though - look on the BACP website for qualified counsellors in your area.

Hope you find some resolution, it might be PND.

Yes, you should see your GP.

Just tell him/her what you've said here - and if you don't think you can say it, just write it down on a piece of paper and let the GP read it.

Be prepared for them to offer medication (there are anti-depressants which are safe to take whilst breastfeeding) - they often do this because there is such a long waiting list for counselling and talking therapies that they like to give you something to help you out while you wait to see the therapist. You don't have to take the medication if you don't want to, but don't rule it out completely because it can help.

Ring and make the appointment now.

You could write down how you feel- then if you decide to see your GP/HV and feel a bit overwhelmed, you could show them your notes.

Do you have any good friends for some support when you are feeling low?

You know what, you wont have to say any thing...
i went with a speach all prepared, when i got there, i started to cry and couldnt stop. He guessed funnily enough!!
I managed to splutter out "cant cope", "down" then a huge snot bubble came and i didnt have to say any thing else.

Had 6 month course of ads and dont know how i carried on for as long as i did because when i began to feel like me again after about 2 weeks on tabs, i was quite annoyed with myself for letting it go on so long and for suffering unnecisarily.

Go to GP, you cannot make this better by rationalising or talking to yourself,
go because the help is there,
just take it for a short time, just go.

Thank you everyone. Don't feel I should burden my friends...they all think I am a happy soul (which I think I am deep down somewhere!) and have no idea I feel like this. I don't have any really close friends where I live and find it hard to talk about such things on the phone. I just want to feel better as sick of yo-yoing between convincing myself I'm fine and then wishing I could sleep for a year and wake up feeling happy again.

Somewhere deep inside I feel like a failure if I admit that I'm depressed. I know that's not true but that's how I feel, that and guilt for not coping better.

You would be failing yourself if you didn't admit that you were depressed and needed help. You're not a failure for facing up to an illness and asking for help with it.

You wouldn't feel you were a failure if you needed to see the GP for any other illness, would you? And depression is an illness.

all donbean said - all i managed was 'i don't feel very well' then turned into a blubbing wreck, he was so kind, sorted me out straight away, told me i was'nt mental, that the chemicals in my body needed help re-balancing - nearly a year on i cannot tell you how much better i am, life is sooooo worth living

go to doc, cry, tell everything, you are not a failure, you are poorly!!!!!! a world of differance!!!

I don't know if it's specific to my health authority, but my GP gave me a questionnaire to fill in there and then so I needn't have worried about how to explain how I felt.

Like jesuswhatnext says, until you get help you don't realise just how low you are/were feeling. I waited nearly three years to ask for help, and if I'd known how much easier things could have been for me...

Just want to say that I'm glad to see that some people have come out saying anti-depressants really helped. They helped me a lot and I was DEAD against. I had PND after baby number 1 and took ages to work out what it was and ended up taking meds, and feeling a great relief that I did. And then the second time round I got it again - all the things you described in your first post and more (guilt +++)- but I was ready for it and recognised it and then I still felt like I didn't want meds (because my mind sees them as some sort of failure, and also because I was breast feeding). And I'm a doctor! Eventually a friend had to sit me down and tell me to accept the meds, saying to me that the last time I took them I said afterwards how stupid I had been to be so dead against them for so long - and she was right. SO I took the ones that are recommended in the NICE guidelines. Within a week, I felt able to cope again - not on a high or anything, just not at breaking point every bloody moment, and able to really enjoy my new baby and feel like I could get through the day. I know talking therapy can take a long time to work and frankly when you have PND a big part of it is the unavoidable issues of LIFE getting you down - in my case, sleep deprivation (which I don't cope with), old back injury playing up because of carrying a little one around, social isolation, winter with a new baby, family all live overseas. Life with a new baby can be hard. At my PND support group the common factor between all the women was that they were far away from their extended families and had at best only their (usually working) partner for support. Counselling usually focuses on the things that you can change about your life. But when you are postnatally depressed there isn't a great deal that you can change about your life, you just have to wait for baby to get older. But being exposed to maternal depression is not great for baby - research has shown that over and over again; best to do something about it that works fast. See this great site.

I finally admitted I needed help for PND a few weeks ago - my son is 15 months old! I chose I nice doc and just said 'I can't cope, I need help'. I am on ADs now and they are really helping. Good luck xx

well, kind of experiencing the same thing - had been on ADs previously, didn't want to go on them again, think I have postnatal depression, have seen GP but also had low iron, so had to wait for that to settle. Still think I need ADs, and looking forward to having them! D Sis 26 months - that's how much I have resisted! However, I remember from being on them before that they really did work well - I was just a bit averse to going on them again for personal reasons. Lots of other stuff going on as well, which has all complicated things. Don't worry about going on ADs is my message - I'm feeling stupid for having left it so long, and wish I'd done it earlier. Just pick a doctor from your practice that you think you can talk to easily - mine is lovely, and it makes it lot easier. Counselling can help if it's something specific that is bothering you, but it could just be something chemical going on, so don't cut off your nose to spite your face... Combination of both can help - that's what I did previously - counselling alone didn't help, and it was my counsellor who said I should go on ADs. Doing that meant that I could actually get to grips with all the other stuff that was going on - I don't think that counselling alone would have done it for me. It's more important to be as happy a mom as you can for your baby.

I had my HV come visit me, I broke down and she made a recommendation for councelling, I have an appointment next week. I wanted to try and fix my brain without meds so I know how you feel. I am prepared to go down that route though if councelling doesn't work.

Good Luck

Thank you everyone, I've made an appt with a lovely lady GP for the week after next. Even though I have some good days/afternoons etc. I feel blue far too much for my liking...And angry with myself because of it. I do my very best to keep it hidden from the DCs, but when DS (who's 2.10 yrs) acts up, as they are prone to, I find it very hard and I know I take it too much to heart. Luckily he is usually a pretty good kid and very sensitive too. My baby is 7 months now, and at first I didn't feel too bad so didn't think it was PND, but the past couple of months have got harder. She has cystic fibrosis too which gets me down quite a bit at times, more than I probably admit to most people. Like others here I live away from my family (am in Northern Ireland- all my family are in S. England) and DP's folks live 1.5hrs away so not much support locally. I will definitely not rule out ADs...I can try them I guess and if they don't suit...

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. xxx