Counselling triage - “not depressed enough” for counselling - how do I address this?

[WinkOnlyCellophane]

I’ve been off work with severe depression for the last five weeks. Gradually returning to work since Duloxitine kicked in two weeks ago.

Ive had depression for a number of years but this is the worst it’s ever been. I could barely function. It was just awful. The pills took about five weeks to work but I now feel much better. Still exhausted, still struggling, but no longer feeling world ending sadness all the time.

I was referred about a month ago to one of the private providers who provide my local authority’s counselling service, and I had the triage call tonight. Because the questionnaire asks how you currently feel and how you’ve felt over the last two weeks, I only meet the moderate depression threshold - she told me I’m “not depressed enough” for counselling and am likely to be refused.

Just a few weeks ago I couldn’t get out of bed or care for myself. But because the pills have worked, I won’t get any long term help or support. I’m just doomed to stay on pills forever and hope they keep working, and live in this twilight world of feeling ok, fine I guess, but not well enough to socialise, to see friends, to actually enjoy life.

Can I challenge a decision not to offer counselling? Can I ask for another provider?

FWIW I have a 15 month old and am pregnant (6 weeks). Apparently 15 months is beyond perinatal with this provider who only class perinatal as up to one year. However, another provider - who are also used by my local authority! - classes perinatal as up to two years. How do I get a referral to that other provider? Who do I even tell that I’m unhappy with this provider?

I feel shitty. Five weeks off work, barely able to function, my life shredded by my sadness. Not sad enough.

TLDR: counselling triage says I’m not depressed enough for counselling, even though I was signed off for over a month, have long standing depression, and even at my best don’t have enough mental energy to socialise or do more than the bare minimum. Also, am pregnant and with a toddler.

I’m so sorry OP. A lot of it isn’t personal many MH teams are struggling just to help the actively suicidal. It’s a shambles.

However, does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program? Often they offer free counselling with zero wait especially to help employees who are returning after being unwell for weeks. Can you ask your HR?

Another option are charities, they often have MH therapists who can counsel you for a cheap rate usually done on a sliding scale by income? there are also Mind Sanctuaries where you can be referred by dialling 111 and hitting the MH option. The sanctuaries have therapists to chat with you. These are usually at night though so you’d need an adult at home with your DC of you do this.

You can also ask your GP to re-refer you as well, why not try the other group if you can?

That's harsh!

Look up affordable counselling, there are two near me, one charges £1 per thousand you earn. Another is whatever you feel you can afford. They are run by charities.

I'm so sorry to have been feeling this way.

Thank you both. Those are really interesting suggestions - I will look them all up.

I know MH teams are struggling. It was just the fact I could just be refused on the phone by someone who didn’t seem to have listened to anything I’d said, based on shallow metrics - and I’ve no idea of any recourse.

Unfortunately they're on their ass.

I went to the doctors recently (after a bad year and a suicide attempt) and was told I need trauma counselling and to call this place as they are award winning so it took all of me to call and actually ask for help and they just said " we aren't taking on any self referrals at the moment "

It's really shit.

its frustrating. But the demand for therapy on the NHS is so huge that if you’re feeling not terrible even if it due to starting meds that you don’t want to stay on, you won’t be a priority as there are others with a greater need sadly, waiting lists are typically several months.
Perinatal is the period from pregnancy up to first year, so if you are currently pregnant you should let them know and hopefully prioritised on that basis. They should also be able to provide you with details of free and low cost counselling providers where you can get seen without the same restrictions. Good luck.

Surely you'll be able to go under the perinatal team once you have your booking appointment? In the meantime, is it possible for you to find a private counsellor?

You’ve all made me feel a bit calmer, if nothing else because this doesn’t seem to be abnormal or person. Much as that’s an absolute shit state of affairs for a health service.

@PennyDeadful 💐 I hope things are improving for you.

I will try some of the suggestions above, including speaking to the midwife when I have my first appointment in a few weeks. I’m not familiar with the NHS system for childbirth and perinatal mental health as my first child wasn’t born in the U.K. and we only moved back when he was 6 months old.

I am seeing a private counsellor tomorrow. He is eye wateringly expensive. With mortgage interest rate changes a worry, the fact I’ll need to save up to afford to pay two sets of childcare, and Christmas coming up it’s just another financial worry though.

Thank you again everyone