Please help me calm my mind

[Helpmesos]

As the title says, I desperately need help to calm my mind. It’s in overdrive thinking negatively constantly. I’m under a lot of stress with different lives challenges at the moment but that’s no excuse either. I’m snappy and take most of it out on my loving partner. I’m constantly accusing him of being unfaithful and deep down I know 100% he’s not. I take something into my head and I go with it to the point we are both tired and miserable.

i want to change so much. What medication can I take to help calm these intrusive thoughts and stop me ruining my life? Previously have taken fluxotine which did not agree with me. I wish I could pay for a psychologist.

someone help me.

This is a very helpful video on intrusive thoughts;

What triggers your overthinking?

Are you peri menopausal?

nothing works so much as going for a walk in the daylight - it’s like a natural tonic and works quicker than any tablet

do it for 20 mins I’ll stick my neck out and say it’s going to help you asap if you go out soon

i hate walking but alone with my thoughts I had to do something and I started this walk every day. Somehow it helps the thoughts

You need to get busier until you're too worn out to think, otherwise you're thinking will wear your own anyway.

Try to be doing something everyday - a project, exercise class, redecorating, cleaning, volunteering, etc

*wear you out, I mean

I'm coming out the other side of a terrible mental health period. Things that helped calm my mind were taking up knitting (because of the repetitive action, the light focus it needs, the sensory feedback from the wool) and kirtan kriya meditation which you can find on YouTube and only takes 10 minutes.

There are lots of medications though that also help, it might take a couple of tries to find one that works so please go back to your gp and ask to try something else.

I'm not sure exhausting yourself physically is long term solution, you're under a great deal of stress so you need less of it in your life, not more. Getting enough good quality sleep will also help.

The little things like this do add up and make a difference.

But if you're not doing any exercise, you might find if you can do some each week it help. Maybe go for a run, or look at the Body Project on YouTube.

Yoga class would help calm your mind - if you can't get to a local group, again, YouTube is your friend or doyogawithme.

Thank u kindly for your replies. I’m 35. Going through a toxic divorce with a toxic man. My partner is so loving and sweet and everything I wished for and more. Though he seems to be the one that gets the brunt of my frustration and anger. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I could have such a good life infront of me if I allowed it. Though my mind keep dragging me back

I do have too much time on my hands and this doesn’t help. But I don’t think it’s the core problem. My mind just won’t settle. I look for a negative in every positive. It’s like i am on high alert constantly.

Have you thought about some counselling?

It might give you a safe outlet to voice your fears and frustrations, with someone who won't take it personally and can help you rationalise your thoughts.

Divorce is hell but you'll get through it.

@DuchessDandelion have been through counselling before and actually started about block today. Lovely lady and nice being able to get all off my chest. But I think my problems lie deeper. But I will take whatever is there in meanwhile until I’m financially in a better position to seek something else. I am truly drained though. I just want to calm my head, it is buzzing.

But I think my problems lie deeper.

Your subconscious mind controls your emotions, memories and imagination - and that's where your intrusive thoughts start and fester, not to hurt you but to keep you concentrating on what they think is too important to ignore. Remedial hypnosis (disclaimer - that's what I do) would help you to understand what's going on and to replace the negative thoughts.

@Helpmesos I'm going to suggest you talk to your gp about your concerns and need to quieten your mind.

If you have an underlying mh condition that hasn't been identified then your gp is the place to start and they can look at referring you for assessment. They can also look at different anti depressants that work better with anxiety-based mh conditions.

You might find the Mind website helpful for understanding what you feel too.

@DuchessDandelion I’m already seeing a doctor regarding it. She’s suggested another medication so maybe try it and see how it works. Quite apprehensive about them after my reaction to my last. I had suicidal ideation and it really shook me. My local mental health team are taking on no new patients for the foreseeable either.

@Eyesopenwideawake thats very interesting. I’m intrigued to know more about Remedial hypnosis. If u wouldn’t mind, could you possibly pm me more details. I’m just so desperate. I feel like I will leave myself with no one if I don’t stop this.

@Quitelikeit walking is great, but my energy levels are so terrible. I used to be so energetic and now I am in a slump to the point showering is a struggle. I have lost all interest in how I look too. I’d rather sit and look up every ailment that I have on Google and try to diagnose myself.

@Angelofthenortheast i really need to get energy and be more productive. My partner works all day and DC are at school. Sometimes when they come home
i have sat and done absolutely nothing all day. Yes I know that’s shocking to admit. I’m in slump and I need to pull myself out of it. I sit and overthink and probably like u say, busying myself would be great

Don't worry @Helpmesos , lots of us have been there! I think when you're stuck in the 'nothing all day' phase, I wouldn't bother starting with anything too ambitious. Just force yourself to do something practical everyday. And if you can sign up to an easy evening class and talk to people, even better. I bet you're suspicion of unfaithfulness comes down to your feeling like you don't have much of your own private social life, so classes are good for that

Although saying that I don't have kids. Honestly if you've got kids and they're dressed, fed and roughly organised for school everyday - you are doing really well anyway!!