Update on husband & lack of mental health support

[Seasidegirl5]

Hi everyone. I have written previously on here about my husband. I have since name changed but wanted to write an update.
Background is for the past 12 months, husband gone into a severe depression. Won't see family, friends or go out. Sometimes won't eat and sleeps alot. Very withdrawn emotionally from everything. Then started hearing voices, and experiencing some Delusions & paranoia.
First went to gp, they put him on sertraline & referred to a wellbeing practitioner. She assessed him, said too complex for them so referred to our local centre that deals with complex adult mental health conditions.
So he has been on the tablets for 8 weeks now, they are slowly starting to work just a little amount but nowhere near what's needed. The person who assessed him just told him to wait for the appointment.
Weve had to wait 8 weeks for the appointment with the complex team which was finally today. We also received an appointment through the post for next march. Today the appointment (video call) was with a mental health nurse. She then said yes he does need to see the psychiatrist who will diagnose him, which is the appointment in March. So absolutely no help or support between now and then.
No wonder people go on to hurt themselves. She has given us a number to contact if he's in crisis. I told her he's been in crisis for weeks. But she says it's not bad enough for hospital stay etc. She asked him if he would actually contact the crisis team if he felt he needed to and he told her no!
So we have now got to wait until March before we can even speak to a psychiatrist. Wow it is so so frustrating. Obviously I want to get him help and wish that he wasnt feeling so low etc, but the effect on our family is huge and we have to live with it day in day out.
He won't go to A&E or anything like that to try and seek quicker treatment because he's quite happy (not really) sitting on the sofa all day every day watching TV. Whist our family collapses around him and he is potentially going to lose his job. He has a very senior role and has been off 8 weeks so far with no intention whatsoever of returning any time soon. But he has had no contact with them whatsoever, doesn't keep them in the loop. It's almost like he's fell off the face of the earth

I’m sorry to read this.

This situation is very familiar to me. My brother, an intelligent, kind, eloquent man has severe mental health issues and there is apparently no help.

He asks for help, but there is none. We, his family, are all there is. I despair, for your husband’s situation, for my brother’s situation and for the many many others like them.

Does he want to help himself?

Yes he does want help. They've just told him he needs to make small steps himself in the meantime, but he's still in the deep throes of depression, doesn't want to leave the house or speak to people so it's very hard to get him to do anything.

I think I recall you posting before.

is there private health insurance through work?

otherwise I would reiterate my advice thst you pay for a private psychiatric appointment but sadly there is unlikely to be a quick fix to this.

also find out what the long term sick benefits are at work. Does
he have income protection insurance through work or otherwise? Do you have mortgage income protection insurance?

It sounds like your husband has psychosis with the depression. People are not always hospitalised if their symptoms can be managed at home.

I wasn't and I was very unwell, although I was lucky to be under a psychiatrist all they do is diagnose the condition you have (in my case Schizoaffective disorder) and prescribe meds.
What meds is your husband taking? Anti depressants take a few weeks to kick in sometimes, and often you need doses increasing. It also takes time to get used to side effects.
But depending on the type, anti psychotics can take months to work fully.
When I had a really bad delusion, it took months to go after being put on one particular anti psychotic although I gradually improved in other ways.
Also anti psychotics don't always take away all the symptoms of psychosis, they just make them less bad, plus the meds can cause negative symptoms to get worse.

Regarding the crisis team, if your husband can't phone them then you should definitely get on the phone to them. Keep on at them.
Or they think you can cope.

If you can pay for your husband to see a psychiatrist privately do so. But don't worry if not - keep in touch with the nurse as she will be speaking to a psychiatrist regarding meds anyway, I got meds before I got my diagnosis.

Don't bother with a psychologist or therapist right now as he sounds too poorly to cope with psychology or therapy.

Good luck, message if you want to x

OP I think I remember your previous post. That wait time is very long. I would second the advice to keep contacting the duty team if you are concerned. There will be cancellations between now and March. It's exhausting but if you keep pushing you may be seen sooner. It might be helpful to keep a diary of what's going on to take to the appointment.

Persist with the medication and again keep a note of any changes. Sorry it's so hard, but these illnesses often improve, it just takes some time.

@Eyesopenwideawake I am not sure why you think it's appropriate to keep pushing your hypnosis onto other posters. OPs husband sounds unwell and in need of a medical professional. I'm not sure a response advertising your service is helpful or in any way appropriate. If he had psychosis I very much doubt hypnotherapy is what he needs.

Yes I agree with @Rustnot that hypnosis is dangerous for people in psychosis. As you already have a feeling of unreality.

Go for a private psychiatrist appointment. No way would I wait until March.

I've been on the phone to them today and the appointment has been moved forward to Friday!!! I can't explain how relieved I am to at least get the ball rolling. Husband is happy about it too. The nurse spoke to the psychiatrist and they want to see him now. Will update after the appointment

Good luck

you might already have done this - but I would again recommend confirming long term sick and income protection possible cover

it sounds like he’s got a road to recovery and financial fallbacks can help you both

Oh that’s great news, good luck!!

Glad to hear this @Seasidegirl5

Hi everyone. Psychiatrist has diagnosed him with severe depression with psychosis which is what I thought it was all along. Starting on anti psychotic ASAP.

So glad you got him sorted. The side effects with the antipsychotics can be a bit rough. My main ones were dry mouth, excessive thirst and daytime sleepiness.
If he rides out the first 3-4 weeks of side effects though, his brain will start getting the benefits of the medication and he should be able to function again soon. I managed to do my MSc on antipsychotics so it is possible (not for everyone) to get back out into the world and function at a high level again without being 100% better.

To get an in-patient place or rapid care these days you need to have actually attempted suicide (but failed). Feeling awful or acting-out isn't enough. I have experience of this with someone close to me.

That’s great news you’ve managed to see psych sooner, just shows you what actually can be done when push comes to shove.
You have to be practically on your arse in mh to get help
There is absolutely nothing after you’ve come out of crisis but not actually still in a good place.

When dh starts to feel slightly better in himself, that’s when things will start to change a little, like his appetite will come back, he will get showered & dressed . All this takes time though
Dont put all your hopes into the first psychotic working for him and don’t be in a rush to get it to work before next increase it may just take time to get into his system. So rather than be on a large mg in a rush when he may not need to be on something that high dose

Could you speak to his work on his behalf without telling him (or ask him)
The sooner they know what is actually wrong the more understanding and compassion they will be.
Find out his sickness payment entitlement, do they have any support for mh issues(if a large company)

He gets 12 weeks of sick pay so that will end in December. Need to get through the first few weeks of taking the new tablets with the side effects and go from there. He's going to speak to work this week. The sertraline is starting to have an effect on the depression and he's much more like his old self which is fantastic, but the voices etc have remained

I'm so glad he has been seen and there is more of a plan now.

For what it's worth I had no side effects when I started taking an anti psychotic and it had no side effects and started to work pretty quickly.