Feeling so low and lost

[StrawberriesPleasse]

I’m so lonely inside but hide it well.

I’m friendly to everyone I meet but have very few friends. My adult daughter has ASD/ADD but I find we don’t have so much in common and can rub one another up the wrong way. I do try my best with her but she has so little tolerance with other people, it makes things difficult. OH does try to support me but I can’t help feel like I’ve drawn the short straw. I always wanted to be close to my child but feel we are not so I’m left feeling helpless.

I have no other family apart from an aunt and uncle who are elderly and live 3 hours away. I crave for family, friends but in reality have so few.

Sorry for the rant but Christmas isn’t long away and I’m feeling all so lonely.

How do I move forward with these thoughts and feelings? I always wanted a happy family but it feels so very different to what I’ve actually got.
Please be kind, I’m struggling.

I feel very similar to yourself. My relationship with my eldest is fractured, at best, and hugely impacts my relationship with others. You say your OH is supportive, lean on that. I wish I had better advice, I know these anxieties feel worse at this time of year but why not use it as an excuse to treat yourself, do something that makes you happy. A pamper day, a short break. I get a lot out of live music, gives me a night away from the day to day grind and a bit of an escape from those negative thoughts when they get a bit overwhelming. Focus on the things you can control and make small changes. And please don't be hard on yourself, I think there's a lot of us who hide these kind of feelings well and you're not alone x

How many people have you met in your life?

I have relocated twice and always made a point of meeting as many people as possible because out of 100 I always think you may click with a couple of them. Yes the majority of those may be perfectly nice or ok but they have their own commitments or a big circle already plus I mean to really have a bit of a connection. My family is huge but scattered to the four winds with the majority overseas.

With your own DD just remember it’s not personal.

I'd just like to add to what others have said, screw Christmas. It will be over in 5 weeks.