Transference in therapy - I think?

[Unfortunatelyunknown]

I’ve been reading a bit about transference in therapy and I am pretty sure I have experienced it with my therapist. For a while I have felt really embarrassed about it and I tried to let my therapist know in a round about way that I was worried I relied on her too much and that I had come to need her support more than I felt comfortable- I felt too awkward to say’ I wan to be friends with you and I think about you all the time!’- I don’t know if I got it across at all and she didn’t press but did remind me she was providing a paid for service… whilst this is true the detachment in her response was a little hurtful and didn’t make me feel less embarrassed or worried about the transference. How should transference be worked through in therapy? Should I say it more outright? What should a therapist do with the info? I’d love some practical help with this. Thanks in advance!

It depends a lot on the type of therapy. Some theories are that transference is normal, expected and that therapy should have a lot of it. Stuff like CBT or counselling has a lot of talking and coverage of it.

Keep talking about it, but recognise that it’s about the past not the here and now. Talk about who the therapist has become to you etc and how/what you need from them (ie when you speak like that it reminds me that I can trust you but I realise I can’t trust my friends in the way I want and I feel like I want you as a friend”, or if it’s a parent transference etc.

How the therapist deals with it depends on their training and their view of transference/counter transference. It’s a theory and some modalities don’t use it as a theory.

That’s such helpful advice thank you very much! I’ve just had a reflect on the root of it and booked in a session with her. Really grateful for that thanks x