Sad about Christmas Presents

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

I just realized today that I have no one to really buy Christmas presents for, and it makes me so sad. Especially since two close friends have said they would like not to do presents this year (quite reasonably due to cost of living).

My family imploded when I was young, and as I am much younger than my siblings, i was affected very differently than my older sibs. 2 ended up going NC, only 2 out of 4 had a child and they are pretty much estranged from them too. Now I am older and as I could not have children, I realize how alone I am. I know presents should not be important, but I have always really appreciated giving and getting them, and not having anyone to do that for is really making me so sad. I feel like life dealt me a really shitty hand and I have not done a good job of managing it. I do donate to families in need, but it is not the same as sitting around the tree on Christmas morning watching someone you care about be happy because of the thought you put into what you got them. It is just making me feel so so sad.

Could you instigate a secret Santa at work -if you do work outside your home?

I work from home right now, but I could do a SS with a social group I belong to.

I am so sorry I too would be sad in your situation. Is there someone on the team you could explain it to in confidence so they realise that it means something to you?

Would it help if you donated some to charities? I know the children's hospital charities will give you an age range and a sex to choose for and you can buy a present for them.
But yes, your circumstances sound hard and I would imagine you feel it all the more acutely at certain times of the year.

If like me the giving is more important to you than receiving could you make up a Christmas box for a child and send via a charity to Ukraine. I volunteer for a charity for Ukraine and we are working with some schools and churches and local people to send a little boxes of happiness to people in Ukraine.

We are asking for things like a hat, scarf and gloves. A face cloth and a bar of soap. A small cuddly toy. A small game or puzzle. Colouring book and pencils, a sharpener in a pot.
Some people are knitting the hat and scarf.

You might enjoy sourcing these and wrapping a shoe box in Christmas paper. We are asking people to wrap the lid separately and putting a large strong elastic band around it. This is so it can be briefly checked for safety.

The secret Santa is a good idea. We have a Ladies Group at church and enjoy a meal out and a £10 Secret Santa before Christmas. It means those on their own can enjoy the festivities too. Some of the singles spend Christmas Day with a few members.

I always take some nice toiletries wrapped to the Women’s Refuge. Like Boots 3 for 2 that often come with a toiletry bag. The children are provided for by the local radio but the mums need a thoughtful gift too.

I hope you find a someone to share Christmas with if not could you volunteer to make the day special for others.

I remember many moons ago when I was in scouts ... we went to a sorting centre for the shoebox appeal. The boxes were practically emptied and then made up again. It was like piles of toothpaste. Soap etc and then one of each selected. Is is still like that?

I'm sorry you feel lonely at the prospect of Christmas. Giving and receiving gifts is lovely, and I truly hope that future Christmases will give you many opportunities for it. Perhaps a new tradition for you could be to celebrate all that you have achieved in spite of your difficult life circumstances. It sounds like you have built a strength and resilience that is really something to treasure.

That's rough. I've spent a couple Christmas alone and while it can be a nice day the present situation is hard.

Can you order a few things for yourself and tuck them away to enjoy on Christmas Day?

I recognise a lot of this. I have bought myself a present. Better days will come x

Thank you everyone who commented. I will donate some gifts to charity, just miss that Christmas morning round the tree thing. But that does not mean I wont have it in future, I guess. Love to all of you who are also lonely at Christmas.

Have a look at giving.gifts!! There's loads of exchanges!! :D

mermeration

I don’t know. My children made them up but I haven’t been on the checking end before. The plan is to just quickly check each box to make sure nothing unsuitable is in the box then seal it and place them in a large box which will be labelled and sealed. We have our own number as we have been sending boxes of clothing, shoes and food. We have sent about 1000 large boxes since March. So we hope to send a few hundred Christmas Boxes.

Loved hearing about your memories from Scouts. Hopefully we will get more than soap and toothpaste though that is needed too. If you haven’t got any you would be glad of it.😁