Please talk me through my fear

[humanwinginglife]

I have chronic anxiety. I'm leading a very good life in terms of work, family etc.

Problem is, I have all these fears, one of which is death even though I'm a Christian

I have to get a 3 hour train twice a week for work and today I'm massively freaking out. It's due in 5 minutes. I have all these pictures of it derailing over the viaduct and I know it's silly, but my anxiety is sky high. I never much like going over it but sometimes it gets the better of me like today.

Also huge fear of flying, was shocking back in April and now am going away for Christmas and already freaking out

Your anxiety is just trying to place itself on something. So you’ve come up with this viaduct movie scene. Focus completely on arriving at your destination and walking safely off the train and on to your destination. Do it over and over in your head.

Ban yourself from worrying about Christmas till December at least.

This is a good idea. Thank you! Just gone over the first one! One more to go.

Oh OP, I am very familiar with this! Did you have a traumatic childhood? If you grow up expecting danger (physical and emotional) at any time, hyper-vigilance becomes hard-wired in your brain. I am much, much better at the moment, but it has not been easy. Lots of trauma-focused therapy. Medication. Meditation. Giving up alcohol and being careful with caffeine and blood sugar. A great deal of self-care. Two books that have been very helpful: The Body Keeps the Score, The Happiness Trap. Two quick and easy tools - box breathing, and the 5,4,3,2,1 grounding exercise. And my personal go-to...I picture my threat-response as a friendly little guard dog in my mind. When I am very anxious I thank her very much for watching over me, but tell her I am safe now and she can rest. I picture her lying down peacefully and give her a stroke. Sounds incredibly daft but it works for me!

Thank you so much for sharing those tools and books! Very helpful!

Yes, I grew up with an alcoholic and abusive step dad amongst lots of other upheaval and not-so-normal childhood. Never thought the two could be related so that's an interesting thought. I didn't struggle with full blown anxiety until 2014, it just came out of seemingly nowhere one day.

Just wish I could do life normally instead of constantly fretting!

I've began struggling with paranoia again also, something I managed to get rid of in the past. It's so frustrating.

So glad to hear your doing much better!

True! I'm really trying!

Oh bless you. Have you hopscotched from one uncomfortable MH problem to another? It's entirely linked to childhood trauma. Do read 'The Body Keeps the Score', it's life changing.

Focus on your breathing. In for the count of 7, hold for 3, out for 11.

Yes! OCD when I was about 8, then depression at 13 (never left) and then anxiety! I will definitely try and read that book, thank you

@humanwinginglife yes, my own story is very similar. They are all symptoms of the same thing. Realising this was very powerful for me! Good luck.

I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you so much. Wishing you all the best going forward also