Abortion

[MummaToOne1]

I dont really know what I'm looking for by coming here, maybe just to know im not the only one out there.
I have a beautiful 1 year old daughter and I worship the ground she walks on!
For some reason or another I cannot forgive myself for an abortion I had roughly 7 years ago. I feel so much guilt and sadness when I think about the child I volunteeringly said goodbye to. I have always wanted children and felt ready to become a mum at such a young age. When I found out I was pregnant, I was understandably scared but deep down so happy that I had been blessed with a child. However....my parents and partner were not supportive. They all believed the best case was to have an abortion. I went ahead with it and it is to this day the biggest regret of my life. I still become so overwhelmed with guilt and grief when I think about it and I just don't know how to come to terms with my actions and move forward properly. I see my daughter excelling in all she does and she makes me so proud. She is my greatest achievement in life but a reminder of my lowest moment.
How can I put this behind me? I dont want to feel this grief for the rest of my life 😞

Hiya. I’m sorry I can’t give you any advice on how to put your abortion behind you. But I just wanted to say I know how you feel and your not alone . I had two abortions and there the biggest regret of my life and I’ll never get over it . And like you seeing my beautiful daughter is a massive reminder of what I’ve done . I’ve wrote a lot on the pregnancy choices on here and it’s helped talking to other women who feel the same.
Have you had any counselling about it ?

I'm so sorry OP.

Can you start letting go?

Here's you could do it:

help yourself find reasons why you had to make that choice:

• you were young and unsupported by your partner and the adults in you life (this is a big one)
• you may never have had your current daughter
• you may not have been able to give you children a better life because you were so young and not settled

Ask yourself if you are ready to forgive yourself?
maybe you need time to yourself to cry and forgive yourself, to write a letter to the child you didn't have, let them go in peace

Or maybe it would help you to get counselling,?

sending love

find compassion and love for yourself

I would talk to your GP and arrange some grief counselling.

I think you will be able to forgive yourself, you just need the opportunity to process it all

I agree with the above - maybe try counselling?

I wanted to add that I did it the other way around. I had my daughter then years later had a termination. Knowing what I was potentially saying goodbye to but I promised that I will channel that energy into improving my life and the decision made was needed in that moment.

My healing process to get over the guilt involved journaling and sketching. One day I drew an image of a woman crying with all of the things she regretted on her back as she received a hug to let it go.

Weirdly at that moment I felt a sense of relief. When I think about it I remind myself of what I do have.

I wish you all the best and hope that sharing my story shows you are not alone xx

Hi OP, so sorry that you are going through this.

I'd really recommend that you try to get some counselling either on a long NHS list or paying privately if you can afford it.

Like you I had an abortion when I was younger and now have kids that I adore. I didn't feel pressured though and I felt comfortable with my choice at the time, which is the difference... I'm so sorry that wasn't the case for you.

Having had the experience of choosing the abortion myself, I don't have regrets. If I'd had that child when I was younger then I wouldn't have my kids now, so I'm happy with that deal... But I have had grief counselling for (other) bereavements before, and found it very useful.

It's worth looking for a counsellor that you really get on with and feel 'gets you', I've "fired" a few when the chemistry was wrong and that's important, I think it only works with someone you really like and feel understood by.

Wish you all the best in getting over your sadness and reconnecting with your joy in your DD

You wouldn't have the dd you have now in all probability if you'd nit had an abortion. You made a decision that was for the best at the time. Don't spoil the life you have now dwelling on it.