Is this anxiety? if so how do I stop it? 😩

[mom2daisypie]

Hi All,

A bit of background. I've been married to DH for 14 years and we have 2 girls, 8 and 10. I run my own business from home and have done for 10 years. It means working a little bit every day (some days more than others) but I never get a full day off unless we're on holiday. I'm used to it though and don't really mind as it means I can do school runs, sports days etc which I would miss if I were in an office.

I'm not usually a stressed person but for the past few months I've been getting an "odd" feeling in my chest, almost fluttery which makes me feel short of breath. I have to take several deep breathes and can get a little bit dizzy too.
I think it started when we had to apply for DD1's high school place in Sept (she will leave primary school next July) and I just don't feel ready. I see her hormones kicking in (greasy hair, little spots coming etc) and I start to panic internally...it doesn't seem 5 minutes since she was in reception!

I don't want to be that person that doesn't want their children to grow and blossom as thats obviously not right, but I feel like I've been abducted and dropped back 5 years later sometimes!! I cannot believe this is my life, I don't know quite how we've got here so quickly. DD2 is now 8 and again, I feel like she was in her highchair last week!!

I'm sure I'm not alone in these feelings and I feel a bit stupid saying it TBH but I'm wondering whether the fact that I'm internalising these panics is giving me anxiety? If so, I dont really know what to do because they WILL grow up I know that and if I talk to anyone about it they'll just nod and smile and agree that it goes quickly...but that doesn't help!

Any advice or similar experiences very welcome xx

You're definitely not alone, it's the most bittersweet feeling ever watching your children grow up. You sound like a fantastic parent.

It could be anxiety I think, definitely worth a chat with your GP.

Peri-menopause could be the culprit.

I'm almost sure it's anxiety... being a veteran of it! It's really tough as kids grow up - walking the tightrope between them needing you hugely one moment, and needing their independence the next. My DD's in her second year of uni and we're both still on a steep learning curve. It's not easy. I really feel for you and recommend that you look around for a helpful therapist. I have seen my regular one on and off since my DD was 8, and she's been incredibly good. I also second the idea of seeing your GP. It's a good idea to tackle this now, don't let it grow, I always leave these feelings too long and have a worse time sorting them out as a consequence. Very best wishes to you, you do sound a wonderful mother.

See your GP, these could be symptoms of anxiety, something premenopausal, or something else (e.g. late onset asthma). You need to check first. It is hard when they grow up!

If you only have mild symptoms I would not medicalise it now, as you can potentially make big progress with self-help. Mild feelings of anxiety are very common, humans are intelligent with the ability to ruminate, look forward etc.

Look on the Mind website and follow self-help advice - expressing your fears, journalling, meditation, exercise, mindfulness etc. See you GP if these things don't help.

I agree with considering physical causes though - such as asthma, vitamin deficiency, menopause.