I am feeling very Lonely.

[cherryredretrochick]

Dh and I have just had another huge fight and he has gone off to work leaving me to brush myself off and get on with it. I don't actually want to anymore.

Everything is so stressful at the moment and DH is just winding me up all the time. He does it nearly every day because he is not a morning person I wake up feeling OK and by the time he leaves for work I am wondering how I can cope with the day. By the end of each day I am just feeling totally lost.

DD1 has a few issues at the moment which I am trying to research and sort out, but her behaviour is terrible so she just shouts, tantrums or snaps at me all day. I am starting to take it personally which is ridiculous.

I just DH to help me out a bit and not with practical stuff but to talk to me, he comes in from work and picks up a book. I end up on the phone to friends all night who I would imagine are fed up with me now, I just want the whole world to leave me alone but then I feel really lonely and just want to talk to someone, anyone. Whenever I phone people I wish I hadn't as I don't want to loose my friends and be one of those people that everyone dreads hearing their voice.

I hate feeling like this, I can't stop crying now and I don't even know why.

Crying is good - a release.

What has happened today?

I asked Dh if I could have the cresit card to buy some food type stuff for DD as got to go on gluten free diet and he snapped 'you know we don't have any money' Just seconds after we discussed the fact that we don't care how much extra money it costs if it makes DD better.

I just seem to have spent the last few weeks researching medical things and we are supposed to be moving house soon, our buyer does not have the money as his ex wife won't sign it over or something, he keeps phoning me and telling me what is going on with him and ex and I wish he wouldn't. I am going to have to tell the people we are buying off soon but am trying to hold off until we know what is going on.

I just feel like I am trying to sort all this stuff out and Dh can't even be arsed to have a conversation with me about it, he just says it will all be OK. I am actually so stressed that when i start to think about everything I am shaking.

Ok what about some sort of plan. Avoid talking to buyer altogether either let estate agent deal with if or your dh. If not tell him everytime he drifts into the personal side of the conversation you have to be quick so can I just check before i go .... IYGWIM

Don't talk to DH in the morning. Obviously talk to him but don't get into or try to hold a conversation with him.
I sometimes let him say everything he has to say and then say are you ready to talk about .....

Men do care they just seem to either get angry about things or stick head in ground leaving us to pick everything up which is very hard.

How old is your LO?

Have been trying not to talk to buyer but he just keeps bloody phoning me, would quite like to know why they split up, would know what to exect then, I think if he cheated on her we could be in for a long wait. He seems to not understand things when told by estate agent or solicitor and phone me for clarifictaion. Just another bloody man at the end of the day. I know it doesn't actually matter how long we have to wait but we are living out of boxes which I daren't unpack in case everything just suddenly happens. we live in a flat anyway and I am tripping over the bloody things.

Dh is fine realy just seems to think it is me starting fights, (which it could be in all fairness). This morning after I said Ok he just kept going on about it until I was actually shaking so much i dropped all the pots.

Lo is 4.5yo and dd2 is 21mths. He says I should stop trying to find stuff out about coeliacs, I asked him if he would research it then, he said he can't as he is at work, so OK then I will do it. Doesn't seem to understand that you can't just not do it.

What would happen if you went off to do something while he was going on? Would he follow? How about doing what we do with the LO's - distract him. Change the subject..

Most men I know wouldn't research anything and then when we do they get annoyed that we know so much and then worry.

What's the worse thing at the moment?

Poor you. You sound like you have an awful lot on your plate. I don't do hugs, but here is a small one.

I can maybe see it a little from your dh's side. Hes being a bit of an arse, but I'm not a morning person either. I have to have 2 cups of coffee before I can deal with the kids. Agree re not having any deep and meaningfuls with him in the morning. But you DO have to talk to him sometime it sounds like. Is night time better? Ask him for an hour or so of his time over the next couple of days. Make a list of what is bugging you? Try to plan? Sorry if this obvious......I'm not great at it myself, but I do know how you feel.

I absolutely hate the feeling of my dh going out to work and we have had (another) row. It ruins my day esp when you don't have a lot of other adult interaction.

Take it easy

Would try to walk away but we live in a flat so that that far to go and he just walks around talking at me. This morning I went into our room and shut the babygate (there from an operation recovery but thats another story).
I think the worset hing at the moment is the house because I feel I am finally doing something for DD1 and she loves the gluten free cereal she had for brekkie. Have been waiting for results for a couple of weeks for diabetes and stuff so have been a bit uptight to say the least.
I just feel so completly out of control of my own and my families lives. Also feels like everything is just on hold, like we have to go into stasis while other people make decisions about our lives.
Ok I may be a bit of a control freak.
Problem is we will have some spare money when we move but can't use it before just in case.

So it sound like you feel out of control and the money situation is a worry which is prob the same problem your DH is having?
So your on the same side in a way.
Men talk better when there are no distractions and maybe when your doing something side by side so you can't see each others faces - then you get to have a full conversation without anything intrupting and without him feeling like he is being interrigated.

I think a good idea is to think about what you are in control of and work with that. You'll feel a lot better I hope.

Also talk on here if you can't phone anyone or what to get something off your chest

I need to log off now. Have a good day. Maybe text dh soon say hi. Make things ok?

Take care.

Thanks leo, Money is not actually a problem DH is just so obsessed with not going one penny over what we actually have that sometimes it drives me mad.

He says that he only has a couple of things he spends money on and makes me feel like I spend all our money, it's on the bloody dc I don't spend money on myself often.

I am also staring to think that I should look at getting a job, dh doesn't want me too but everytime money comes up I feel like I have to justify everything as it is not my money (my theory in my head not his). Of course we have no money he earns not that much and i am SAHM, sometimes you just have to stop caring quite so much, it is not like I want to go out and but a new bloody TV.

He left me his credit card in the end but i don't actually want the bloody thing now. And of course I know we have no money, why did I ask for the credit card

Ok my life is such a yoyo at the moment, Our buyer has just phoned and his wife is going to transfer the money so looks like we are on again.
I am getting fed up of feeling so up and down. Am now over the moon and feel really guilty for posting this, called DH and made friends. Dd is loving new diet so far.

just goes to show what a difference 2 hours makes. I am glad. Don't feel guilty