How do you stop overthinking?

[FatAntelope]

I'm rarely present. All I think about is how my parents left the country when I was 17 and that my husband wants a divorce. I hate that my kids won't have grandparents in their lovesy or even have parents under the same roof.

It's so hard to catch myself over thinking because I'm not anxious but it gets me down. I think I would have a way more fulfilling life if I actually engaged in it but I'm always focusing on how the things that I expected haven't gone to plan.

I'm having counselling which I'm sure helps in the long run but doesn't help me day to day to deal with me constantly dwelling on things.

Has anyone got any advice or experience of overcoming over thinking? Thanks

Bump

Hey, it is not easy to stop overthinking. It may be even harder when you start expecting things that you have planned. Expectations are the main reason that leads to overthinking. You can focus on the things that you like most and try to get engaged on those things, this will help to stop overthinking.

Hope you will be able to deal with your mental problems. Thank you

I'm in your boat again after years of coping.

My therapist many years ago asked me to describe them and I said it was like a tree and my mind just kept creating branches and branches and going off in catastrophic directions.

She taught me to recognise it happening and cut the tree down at the point I was at and as early as possible.

It did used to work when I was a bit stronger. When I'm really anxious though, I find it hard to do.

I send my hugs xx

Cbt or psychotherapy?

You will be better off with cbt which focuses on practical ways to improve thought processes.

Psychotherapy on the other hand will just have you mulling over the thoughts and give them even more weight.

Bottom line is you have to accept that the thoughts are meaningless. Sitting in a rocking chair going faster and faster feeling like you're getting somewhere but ... you're not. Just wasted energy.

Physical exercise does help, also going outside in sunlight. But ultimately you'll need to find something else to occupy your brain. Learning a new skill, planning a holiday..

Meditation helped me a lot. Have you tried headspace?
Counselling also helped. And medication.

The other suggestions are all really good proper long term ones to have my only contribution would be in the short term listening to podcasts or audio books to fill in the parts of life when you're alone or have a tendency to over think.

For me it was always when my children are with their dad or when I'm driving, or doing housework. Listening to the above really helps me keep me out of my own head.

CBT really helped me, it’s not for everyone, but I still draw on the sessions I had years ago, thats not to say I don’t fall over thinking, and I’m also a bit of a control freak and the 2 really don’t go together! CBT really helped me draw on the positives on the trauma I have been through, childhood, the loss of my parents, my health, infertility, if I can’t see a positive then I try and draw a line underneath it.