How do you have that first GP conversation

[MiniFig]

Having seen one of my adult DCs go through depression (still) and getting a diagnosis, i recognise some of the signs in myself.
Actually I'm displaying a lot of signs of depression and I'm not sure if i want to try to handle it, or if i really ought to seek out therapy or something

Assuming you start by going to the GP - how do you start that conversation without sounding like a self-indulgent whiny brat? Also, i can't even think about trying to make an appointment without crying, and the idea of actually having to talk to someone, anyone, makes me feel awful. It is clear that this can't go on.

Some of it is age related (menopause, general middle-age angst - pondering the march of time and realising that I'm closer to death than birth, IYSWIM) some is related to worry about elderly parents and the regular general stuff about the state of the world, not loving my job etc etc.

How do you make that first step without feeling ridiculous and selfish?
(have namechanged, because I'm hugely embarassed to be even asking this)

I suppose it depends on what you would like the outcome of any discussion to be. If you want to access therapy, and not have any medication, you can self refer and not need to speak to the GP. (Link to available services at the bottom of this link)
www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-find-local-mental-health-services/
If you want the GP to maybe do blood tests to see if there is a treatable underlying cause (thyroid, iron, B12, Vitamin D -Low levels of any of these can cause depression) or discuss medication/HRT or just want someone to help in some way, then book a GP appointment.

From personal experience, I can only ‘handle it’ for so long before ending up Sat opposite the GP and, no matter what I plan to say, it usually all comes out as a garbled mess with me blubbering and feeling foolish but in the grand scheme of things a little bit of embarrassment is nothing & soon fades with the relief of knowing there is a plan of help. The Dr won’t consider you whiny, ridiculous or selfish, honestly! -although since when is it selfish to take care of your health? You wouldn’t hobble around on a broken ankle without getting it looked at & MH is just as important as physical health. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Make an appointment, I hope things feel brighter soon

Thank you. That's not a question I'd got as far as asking myself: what do i want the outcome to be.

But yes, a good call on blood tests. Thank you. (the thing about MH being the same as physical health is one i used on my daughter - a bit of taking my own advice would be good)

I just went in and had a cry.

It might be worth writing down how you are feeling, how that is different from time before and that you want to feel better. Give this to your GP.
The GP then has a sound basis to speak with you and get more detail.
I hope you get the help you need OP

Lots of areas have self referral talking therapy now. Might be worth googling and referring yourself?

I wrote it all down - told them I wouldn’t get through it coherently in person! Bullet points of the main symptoms/issues and then a summary of what I hoped they could provide by the way of help (ideally trying counselling before medication). That started the conversation. Best of luck.

Does your GP surgery allow you to complete an EConsult? This is a good way to write everything down for your GP to see before you have a telephone or face to face appointment. Good luck 😊

One thing that may help, and I agree asking for blood test is a important and sensible first step, is to write down your key symptoms or even keep a diary for a week or so before appointment. Document sleep, menstrual cycle stage , moods, and other issues going on, do a scale of your mood each day, in relation to that. If you can talk about your “evidence” of issue to GP you may find it easier not to be reduced to tears.
however, having said that when I was depressed I’ve just gone and blubber incoherently and my great gp has untangled it - so really they won’t judge you and you are not a wimp
however, if you have intrusive thoughts of self harm or suicide you MUST call 999 or go to A&E or at least 111. Don’t even think about doing anythingvelse
also don’t forget Samaritans are available if you feel alone and need to talk whilst waiting* for GP appointment,

I'm a GP. I think the previous poster's suggestion to write it down if you're worried you'll get too emotional to be able to express what you want to get across in person is a good one.
People usually start the conversation saying something like "I've been struggling with low mood/anxiety recently", or "I'm calling because I think I'm depressed". Please don't go into an appointment worrying in case you cry. Some days I speak to half a dozen crying patients, and it never makes me think badly of them at all. It makes me realise just how seriously the issues they are struggling with are impacting them, and makes me feel empathetic. It's perfectly legitimate to cry, give yourself permission.

I'm sorry you're struggling like this and hope your GP can come up with a plan with you to help you start to move forwards. Take care.

I went to talk about something else and just needed up sitting there crying.
I had my HRT changed as a first point of call. But I think I need something to make me feel alive again.

Make the appointment. They've heard it all you know, you're not alone.

Some days I speak to half a dozen crying patients, and it never makes me think badly of them at all. It makes me realise just how seriously the issues they are struggling with are impacting them, and makes me feel empathetic.

gosh, that sounds very rough.

Thanks everyone - I think writing things down and keeping a diary is a really good idea. I'm a huge procrastinator but if i put this on my to-do for next Tuesday, it will have more chance of getting done. And give me time to make my notes.

@bonzaitree same went in as boss said I needed to get signed off or get back to work, just went in and burst into tears, poor trainee Gp, he had to interrupt me to ask if he could turn on the camera as he was still being assessed

Thanks for starting this thread OP.

I have many times been put off asking for help because I was terrified I couldn’t get through the appointment without crying.

I’m OK right now, but some of the replies have already really helped for the future.

I went in not knowing what to say and just broke down, I had been needing to cry for a very long time.
I think it's better just to go and say what comes naturally

I wouldn't say I would recommend it as a strategy.

Got the job done though!

I'd made an appointment but really struggled to say much, our lovely gp prompted me with some questions and eventually I was able to articulate how utterly flat I was feeling.

She started me on sertraline and called every couple of weeks until I was settled on it and helped me self refer to talking therapy. Things are improving so much now.

Same. First time was pnd second, 20+ years later was with anxiety that stopped me being able to eat or drink properly.

Same. GP gave me a hug and told me she would get me the help I needed. She did. I genuinely believe that hug and reassurance saved my life.