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Original poster

I think I've gone a bit mad, but not enough to do anything about.

2 replies

Smellyoldowls22 · 30/10/2022 19:27

So, last 11 months I've had PND/PNA really badly, felt very low.

I've started to feel bad again, wishing I was dead etc.
But I've also started to believe there's a fractal world just under the surface of this world. That everything is fractals, and they're the base unit of the universe. And if you scratched the surface of this world you would reveal the fractal world. I know that if I did die I would just go to the fractal world, so in a sense there would be no escape.
I don't really know how to explain it. I feel very agitated.
At the same time I know this sounds ridiculous, so I'm probably not actually psychotic.

I just wish I could feel normal and un-anxious again. I hate living like this.

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MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 30/10/2022 20:38

Hi there, @Smellyoldowls22 .

We're so sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. It feels so unfair to have to cope with PND and PNA when you should just be able to relax and enjoy this time with your new baby. Sounds like you've done all the right things so far though in getting the help you deserve.

As previous posters say, you should definitely make sure you get all the help you need tonight and if your support needs extending we're sure the people looking after you will want to do that. It's great you've had lots of sensible advice and support here on the thread - and so many of us have been through it too and know how it is - but we really think that tonight it's important for you to talk to someone in real life, too, whether that's a partner, a friend or going directly to your mental health team youself. Just send them this thread if that's easier. There's lots they'll be able to offer you in terms of support and help.

For further down the line, or if you also want to talk to someone 'uninvolved' tonight, there are lots of numbers on our Mental Health Webguide that might be of use too. www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide .

Please do feel free to keep posting and pop back and let us know how you get on, too. You've got all of Mumsnet on your team, here. Flowers

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 30/10/2022 21:53

OP, us again! We hope you don't mind but we're going to move your thread to our mental health section where we think you'll find lots more people who've been in your position with good advice.

Watch this thread for updates

Tap "Watch" to get all the latest updates

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