What level of anxiety to just accept?

[Flippinghecklike]

At various points in life, most recently this summer, I have had a period of months of anxiety where I was tearful daily, almost constantly distracted by intrusive thoughts relating to health or my children’s health and really unable to say I enjoyed my life. I am now having CBT, taking 100mg sertraline daily, have cut out all drinking as helped at the time but the day after even moderate amounts made me worse, exercising loads, eating well and feeling hugely better than I did in the summer.
The thing is, even now I get the thoughts they just dont take over, and I would say - in part because I work full time in a responsible public facing role, have two small children and generally have quite a bit to organise I do feel constantly slightly on edge - not ever distressed like I was but always like I am “on”. My chest feels slightly tight or churny, a bit like I am about to take an exam, most of the time every day.

I guess i wonder - for now at least - is there an argument to just accept this? I don't think I have always been like this but i am not unhappy and enjoy a lot of things. If I could choose to feel calmer i would, but i also think i am doing all i can at the moment and there might be a case for accepting it for now as trying to improve things almost makes it worse, like another chore on the list.
Has anyone felt similar?

Hello OP,

Yes i can relate to this. Whilst i'm not tearful, anxiety has pretty much taken over most of my life for the last 15 odd years. It's the hardest and most loneliest of journeys and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can honestly say it's effects most of my life decisions (no kids, unable to change jobs so easily, never relaxed and carefree.)

The best thing you can do is get as much help as you can from different places and it sounds like you're doing the right thing by not drinking and excersising. I have a similar problem with alcohol, react to it really strongly but always go back to it.

don't ignore it and don't try and fix it alone, especailly health anxiety, but do remember that it's ok to be anxious sometimes and there are ways you can minimise it and cope better. I'm learning all the time how to deal with situations day by day and one thing that has helped me is to not always try and fight it. Some days i just accept i'm an anxious mess and give myself some time away to rest (if i can). It's hard OP, mine hasn't really gone away but i'm learnig how to cope with situations bit by bit, no quick fix but my god do i appreciate the small, happy moments.

Thank you so much for responding - I really
appreciate it and wish you weren’t in the same boat. I guess it is just doing the best you can each day, rest is so important and I agree not constantly fighting it helps too. Hard to find the sweet spot between giving up and life not being a constant battle I think xxzz

That's ok, if there is one thing my anxiety can do in a positive way is help others not feel so alone. Take each day as it comes, write your fears and anxieties down if you need to, (i found this helped me a bit) keep going bit by bit, small steps and get some help if you can, i'm sure some other people will be along later with better advise? (sunday evening can be a bit quiet on here)

Following this with interest. I’ve had the same thoughts for a while - that I do have anxiety about certain situations- particularly social and over analysing interactions even with friends, and also feeling all my confidence is gone at work. ive two small children too and sometimes get slight physical anxiety symptoms when taking them out places. I’ve always just thought it was within the normal realms and to just accept that’s life but now im wondering too is it normal or do most other people just not have these thoughts and worries

Hi op, I’ve struggled with anxiety ever since I had my children…so that’s 18 years now🙈. I’ve been on 50mg Sertraline for about 8 years (which I think does help,) and tried CBT and hypnotherapy (which didn’t help.) Staying in routine and keeping busy does help me.
I’m still a very anxious person though (esp about the health of me or my family,) and I have to accept that. I’m definitely prone to low mood when the anxiety ramps up but I’m starting to accept that I have to ‘ride the wave’…it always passes. I think striving to beat the anxiety and constantly looking for a cure actually made me worse. It’s the way I am.
I know exactly what you mean about accepting a level of anxiety. Yes of course there are things that help -and it sounds like you’re doing most of them- but as long as you’re managing ok and you’re mostly happy, I think you’re doing well.

First, you should congratulate yourself for the huge steps you have made in improving your own life and consequently your children's as well. You are quite matter-of-fact about CBT, reducing drinking, exercise, healthy eating but I'm sure all this reflects real strength on your part.

Second, I think when we're in the midst of a crisis we can forget what "normal" feels like. Anxiety is in itself a perfectly normal and sometimes helpful part of human life - if the level you're feeling now is allowing you to manage and even enjoy life it could be that you're actually much closer to "normality" than you think.

Third, you may find that your current level reduces anyway as your body adjusts to a lower base anxiety. It's a virtuous circle. So you may not have to worry too much about "doing more" to aid your recovery - might even be counterproductive. Of course if "doing more" means doing something enjoyable then go for it!

Fourth, I wish generally more attention was paid to the recovery process - I have a theory that a fair few potential recoveries have been derailed because of a lack of understanding of how the process works.

Hope things continue going in the right direction for you.

Anxiety is an important emotion, work with it instead of fighting it. Have a look at this video;

Yes, I came to the same conclusion a few days ago. I’m autistic and I’ve been anxious my whole life. I think I accepted it then because I’d never known any other way of being….I got through the scary thing at school and then ran home to relax. I never felt depressed as a child and only very occasionally in my twenties, even though I had health anxiety.

Now I’m the same as you, worrying about my health and my teenage DS’s with constant intrusive cycling thoughts interspersed with terror when someone actually is ill (when I’m like that nothing can calm me). I think it just occurred to me that I’ve always been anxious and I always will because of my overactive amygdala. So instead of trying to beat the anxiety, fail and become depressed I may as well accept it. If I only allow myself to be happy once I’ve ‘recovered’ then I’ll never be happy. I occasionally take a couple of cocodamol before bed just for a bit of a break and I’ve ordered some magic mushroom making equipment for micro dosing x

Thanks all - really appreciate all your contributions and thoughts thank you. I am sorry so many people get it but also grateful for your informed perspectives. The challenge is the sweet spot between acceptance and giving up i think!