About 2 years ago I separated from my wife. We have two kids. The separation went amicably to begin with, however a few months after my ex wife began to live separately with my kids, she started to have issues with my son, who was then 9. This appeared to turn into neglect and physical abuse. At the same time, my ex wife made false allegations of domestic abuse against me in court, blocked me from seeing my children for 9 months, and severely controlled my finances. This combination limited my ability to help my son. My son has been left with behavioural issues around control as a result of her parenting of him and possible abuse. The court cases have ended but today my son accidentally sent me a video of him vaping (he is now 12), when I called to speak to him about it he said that his mum said that it is okay for him to vape as it doesn’t hurt him. Alongside her horrendous behaviour towards him after our separation, it’s possible that he's a victim of fabricated illness by proxy, which is a type of child abuse, this is currently being assessed by the nhs.
I had children with the wrong person, I would just like this to stop. I am going to have to go back to court and it was a very distressing experience before. I am feeling quite suicidal which is stressful because I can’t commit suicide, I am stressed and sad for my kids.