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Mental health

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How can I help my friend?

0 replies

pairofrollerskates · 24/10/2022 12:04

I have a friend of many years' standing who, it seems to me, has been depressed for some time. I have no medical training whatsoever, so it's just my gut feeling. Since well before Covid struck, she had a series of issues with her job, her health, and then a parent dying. She lives on her own, over 100 miles away from me (she does have other family members nearby). Then came Covid. Things got worse. I hoped when the world opened up again, that she'd be able to get back on her feet, so to speak, but this hasn't happened. For a few years I have been trying to be there for her, calling her, inviting her to stay etc. I have asked her many times if she's doing ok, feeling well, and so on, but all I get is "I'm fine." She doesn't seem fine to me, but she's always been a very private person who doesn't share much of herself so I don't want to offend her by asking her too many personal questions. It's got to the stage now where I really don't look forward to seeing her as it's such a drain, but I do want to support her - if she would let me in. Aaargh! What to do? I know her sister well enough to call her to talk about it, but the last time I did that (about 4 years ago), the sister said "Well, you know X, she's very private. She just won't talk." I'm also afraid that if I call her sister, sister will tell X I called her and I don't want to be accused of talking about her behind her back. Also, for all I know she is already on medication. Bear in mind that we have known each other for around 50 (yes, 50!) years. Sorry for going on a bit - any advice will be considered helpful.

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